Archive for the ‘BDSM’ Category

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WOW, OK… Being locked in a chastity device for so long must definitely mess with a guy’s mind a bit, huh? I mean, could I really get to a point where I truly don’t even WANT to get out and have a “real” orgasm? Am I already at that point? I’ve long said that I don’t CARE when I get out, as I want it to be completely Angel’s decision… but in the heat of the moment I always still WANT to be out! Let’s back up a little bit though, and analyze my real-life account of last weekend (yes, I’ve been working this draft for several days now)…

This story takes place a week after I had ventured out into the local community to attend an intro “Rope Bondage” class. It went pretty well and was a lot of fun (read about it here and here.) I just hadn’t had any chance yet to practice any of my new knots on Angel. Saturday morning we woke up both a little frisky, but still couldn’t do very much because we heard that the kids were already up and moving around the house as well. Still, I rolled on top of her to simulate what she had to look forward to LATER if she wished! I held both of her wrists together over her head and said that I might just have to tie them like that to make sure she couldn’t stop me from giving her extra orgasms!

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Last week when I wrote about my plans to attend a rope bondage class being offered in my city, I got quite a few comments of support. It seems there are quite a few fans of rope who read my blog! 🙂

You can go back and read the full post plus comments HERE, but one side conversation left me wanting to write my thoughts in a lot more detail than I could really fit in the comments section there. Nijntje wrote [paraphrasing] that she is also very interested in rope bondage, but had no desire to ever ‘out’ herself by attending a public class.

Being very curious as to whether her reservations about venturing out into the BDSM community were similar at all to Angel’s reasons, I had to ask a few follow-up questions. Here is an excerpt of the reply, which is the part I wanted to expand upon:
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RE: A “Binding” Chance

Posted: April 17, 2018 in BDSM, Bondage, Fetish, Kinky, Rope

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It’s been a couple days since I ventured out to an “Intro to Rope Bondage” class that was offered in my city, but I wanted to write up a short follow-up to my last post (Taking a “Binding” Chance). If anybody hasn’t seen that one, it’s a pretty good read and generated some great, thought-provoking comments! (i.e. Is Angel’s lackluster “approval” of me attending an event like this, a way of subliminally trying to guilt me into not doing it, even if she doesn’t mean for it to be that way??)

Thank you for everyone’s support and feedback there, it’s always greatly appreciated! In that last post, I was getting ready to go to this rope class. I was very upfront with Angel about my desire to do it, even though I know that generally speaking she is fairly against any kind of kink-outside-the-privacy-of-the-bedroom type of things. That’s one opinion that I don’t happen to share with her. I mean, I’m completely good with not involving any 3rd party directly into our private, intimate moments (writing about them later doesn’t count as a 3rd party being physically involved!) But we do both seem to enjoy certain aspects of BDSM in our private lives, and I think the best part of having a “community” is to be able to get out and learn from others who have far more experience in doing these things in as safe a manner as possible!

But that’s all a conversation of its own which could probably span MANY blog posts!

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So I did get Angel’s “permission,” and attended a rope class on Saturday… It was a lot of fun! The format was pretty much just as I envisioned, and how a few folks described it on that last post we’ve been talking about. Yes, everyone in attendance was fully clothed. Though the subject matter might be of somewhat of a “kinky nature,” there was nothing particularly sexual going on there at all. The instructor may as well have been teaching basket weaving or any other subject under the sun as far as that goes! 🙂 But it was definitely a very laid back, fun learning environment where sexy things could be talked about candidly with no judgements whatsoever!

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This will be short and sweet (I think) and possibly leave some unfinished thoughts hanging out there, which isn’t usually my style of blogging.  But here goes.

Through some wonderful folks I know through a local Munch that I attend as often as possible, I’m aware of some “Rope Bondage” classes that happen monthly in my city.  I’ve been wanting to try one of these for quite a while but besides normally just being busy with other family things on Saturday afternoons, it has always been a tricky conversation to bring up to Angel.  As I’ve written about before, she is always very open about trying anything between just the two of us behind closed doors at home, but being “out there” in a public venue in a situation regarding any kind of kink, is very far outside of her comfort zone.

I did bring it up to her for the first time last October, and tried to go to an “Intro to Rope Bondage” workshop back then, but she was clearly not really OK with me doing that plus we ended up with something else going on then too, so I dropped it.  The Intro class is only offered once every few months, and I missed January as well but it is being held again this afternoon.  I’ve been talking to Angel about it different times this whole week to feel her out and see if there was any chance I could possibly attend this time.

She’s still not really sure, and says it just “feels weird” to “send” me to something like that…  I would MUCH rather have her right by my side at the event, but I know that’s not going to happen so I haven’t even tried that one.  I asked if she was worried that I may end up cheating on her with someone from there or something like that?  She said it’s not really that, it’s just…  “weird…”  I don’t really know how to respond to that to try and alleviate any of her fears!

I’ve told Angel that I’m absolutely NOT going to be doing anything with anyone else — she is definitely the only person I want in that regard!  I just think something like this could be fun and interesting to try out at least once, and maybe pick up a trick or two that I could bring back and show HER in the bedroom tonight!  Plus, as she knows well, I am definitely not always really the best in new social situations either.  So this is really kind of pushing me outside of my own comfort zone a bit as well!
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This will probably make more than a few of my readers cringe a bit, but Angel and I watched the 2nd installment of “50 Shades of Grey” last weekend. I had watched the first with her a couple years ago after it was released on DVD, and we’d skipped the second one but she wanted to get caught up on it before the last movie runs its course in the theater and becomes available to rent.

Overall, I find it to be a very cheesy plot line and only so-so sex scenes — probably a fairly typical “guy” reaction. Yes, I DO know that it’s not a particularly good representation of BDSM, but the effect it has on Angel… OH MY! That alone makes it soo worth watching with her, and indeed made for a very fun “post-Valentine’s” night when we managed to have an evening alone without the kids!
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This is an excerpt from another blog I enjoy reading whenever I can, the Domme Chronicles.  Ferns has published a new book on Amazon and not only can I say personally that it is a fun read, but it’s also FREE!  Yes, she is literally giving it away, simply for the sake of trying to get a book about real life Female dominant & Male submissive relationships to the top of Amazon charts!  Check it out here, and help her out if you can..  Did I mention it’s FREE?  🙂

https://www.domme-chronicles.com/2018/02/free-happy-femdom-stories-volume-1


**An F/m book #1 on Amazon? Impossible!

A femdom book at #1 on a mainstream behemoth?! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW GLORIOUS THAT WOULD BE FOR A BRIEF SHINING MOMENT?!!

Here’s how we do it:

1. You download a really great free F/m book
2. You tell everyone you know to download a really great free F/m book
3. WE BASK IN THE GLORY OF A BOOK ABOUT ACTUAL FEMDOM RELATIONSHIPS BEING IN THE #1 SPOT ON THE BIGGEST MAINSTREAM BOOK SITE IN THE WORLD! Bwuhahahahaha etc.

THE FREE BOOK: Happy Femdom Stories Volume 1
I’m giving away my Happy Femdom Stories book: It’s a joyful collection of wonderful stories I have collected from happy F/m folks about their relationships.

It’s positive, uplifting, heartwarming, hopeful. You will love it!

Did I mention it’s free?

It’s FREE.
BUT this is about more than that:

I want to get this book about real life female dominant/male submissive relationships to #1 on Amazon.

CAN YOU IMAGINE A REAL-LIFE F/M RELATIONSHIP BOOK AT #1 ON A MAINSTREAM BEHEMOTH IN FRONT OF ALL OF THOSE VANILLA EYES?! ~wistful sigh~**

I had something new and interesting come up the other day, where a reader and aspiring author [HappilyLockedMan] wrote to ask if I would possibly be interested in reading over a short story (fiction) that he had written.  Of course I’m always a sucker for a good chastity story, real or fiction, so I obliged.  And I have to say, it was good!  In my opinion, right out of the gate I’d call it just as good if not better than a large part of other similar content I’ve ever come across out on the net.

Anyway, over the course of several e-mails I found myself helping HappilyLockedMan with some editing, and I think there’s really a pretty decent product here!  Now as I told him, I have no credentials whatsoever as a copy editor, but I have picked up a few things over the course of writing my blog as far as rules of grammar, sentence structure, etc.  I may not always get EVERYTHING right, but overall I think I do a fairly good job and tried to direct a bit of that knowledge into this piece too–without changing any of the “meat” of the story which was already very well established!

Fiction is hard, at least in my opinion.  I tend to need real events in my life to reflect back upon when I’m writing, so I really don’t think I would be very good at dreaming up something like this from scratch.  So kudos to HappilyLockedMan and anybody else who can bring erotic fantasies to life through words on paper!  And it WAS rather fun being an editor, so perhaps I will end up doing more of that in the future as time allows…

Posting both by request and with permission of the author, enjoy!  We would both love to hear any feedback that readers may have on this story!


Aaron and Melissa
by HappilyLockedMan

“Honey, I need you to do this.”

Aaron trembled as Melissa looked into his eyes. She was holding his face with her two hands so he had to look back at her.

“We’ve worked hard for this. This is our moment.”

There was urgency in her voice. Aaron nodded his head and looked down. With that assent Melissa continued with her preparations.

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The next set of questions from my inbox is from a gentleman who has written to me before, and seems to happily be getting much more into the lifestyle with his wife lately.  I always enjoy stories and questions like that, keep them coming!

Oh, and if you have not yet voted on your favorite Chastity Christmas tune, please do so here!

Ben (bigdaddyb) updated:

Appreciate reading your blog. And I appreciate you having turned my questions into a post and answering all of them. I wanted to give a brief update from back in April when I sent my initial message. [See previous post HERE ] While my wife hasn’t taken off as 100% domme/keyholder she has certainly begun on the path. Prior to last month after attempting to get her to do a bit longer of chastity play for almost a year and a half the longest she had ever kept me locked was 4 days. Regardless of my repeated requests for her to attempt longer periods between release. I don’t recall exactly how I brought up the subject but during a playfull text I said that “Locktober is coming up which is followed by No-vember”. She replied with a smiley emoticon and I didn’t hear anything else. That was – until Sept 25th came along. I had been uncaged for a few days and she told me I needed to go het her property caged in preparation for Locktober. It caught me off guard because she hadn’t said anything about it and the only mention I had given about it was almost a month prior.

When I did what she told me and handed her the key she said “Good pet, now we both have something to look forward to on my birthday”. Her birthday is on Oct. 20th. I had a moment of extreme excitement as she said that. But then I tried to play coy and said that she wouldn’t last more than 4 days before letting me out. Long story short – she didn’t keep me locked up the entire time – but she did last longer than she had ever before, 8 days. And she has locked me up for another 6 day period after that and then told me to lock up 3 days ago repeating that “it is Locktober so you need to be locked up a lot more”. It would appear that she is beginning to take a liking to things. Her favorite thing to do while I’m locked is to tell me to get “The Trainer” on (shock collar) so that we can lay in bed with each other and I can give her a full body rub.

A few follow up questions for you that I’m sure may be answered in some older posts but I haven’t been able to read through all of them as of yet:

1. Is there any punishment system between the two of you for bad behavior/breaking rules? That’s what I feel is a missing link with my wife and I as she merely tells me that I can’t go down on her as punishment if I do something wrong. But I don’t want my punishment to involve her limiting her pleasure. Wondering about some real life possibilities that others use (not the extreme things you sometimes see when perusing things like Tumblr)

2. Do you know what can and can’t get through a metal detector without setting it off? I have a Holy Trainer V2 and I have a metal cage (haven’t yet paid for a top end one – but it is working out OK so far) that I got off of Amazon from China. I would have to assume that a metal cage would set off all kinds of alarms at an airport security check. What about the small lock that goes with a Holy Trainer V2? I just feel that the plastic locks are cheesy and not a valid option but I also don’t want to have to have a search of that region by an airport security guard. 🙂

3. Do you have any books/blog recommendations that your wife has shown interest in that I might be able to share with my wife to further her interest? (aside from your blog of course – LOL)

I have other questions swimming around in my head but I’m a bit scattered and have to get going anyways. I appreciate your blog and your time in responding to me.


Ben,

Thank you for you the great questions and continuing to read my blog! I’ve noticed many great comments you’ve left recently throughout different pages as well; I just apologize that you caught me during a VERY busy time in life so it has taken a while to get back with you! I will go through your questions one by one, though some I think you may have already found elsewhere on my blog by now..

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Many who read my blog very regularly would probably know that besides chastity I tend to have a little thing for being tied up as well.  There’s just something about being tightly restrained, unable to move, and completely at the mercy of my Wife/Mistress, Angel!

At least at this stage of our D/s relationship, Angel has never really taken very much to initiating such a scene. Sure, she will put the cuffs on me and draw them tight to the bed if I specifically ask her to do something like that, but generally speaking if I want to be tied up I have to get my “fix” by doing it myself.  Self-bondage can be a lot of fun in its own right, but if playing COMPLETELY alone I can’t really say I ever feel like it is truly secure, as there kind of has to be a somewhat easy escape plan (darn that whole “Safe” piece of SSC! Lol)

Luckily, Angel and I HAVE gotten to a point where I can occasionally tie myself up while she is perhaps in another room, then she will come in and find me completely helpless to deflect anything she wants to do with me.  More often than not, Angel doesn’t know it’s happening until she comes into the room, but she is usually pleasantly surprised and anxious to take advantage of the situation when she finds me like this!  The nice part about engaging in self-bondage with another person in the general vicinity, is that I can get much more elaborate with it and even get into positions that there’s probably no way I would ever escape from without some assistance!

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I may add more of my own thoughts on this topic some other time, but I love this post and just wanted to share it here as it fits quite well in my own life as well!

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I’ll make this the last post in my little “mini-series” of sorts about the kink-heavy vacation that Angel and I took together a few weeks ago. That’s not to say I’ll never speak of it again elsewhere, but I wanted to do one more entry here just to kind of sum up all of our experiences and lessons learned from the trip.

Overall this little get-away with Angel was absolutely WONDERFUL! There we were at the ocean, a good 1300 miles from home with no kids, no commitments, and pretty much no inhibitions! In the weeks leading up to this trip we had made so many plans of what we wanted to do (both inside and outside the bedroom). Many of those plans played out quite nicely, while others either fell by the wayside or just fell flat.

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This one is kind of a hard post to write.. I’ve had a blank draft out there with this title (at least the first part of it) for a few weeks now in anticipation of what was to come, just had to wait until our vacation to see how things played out to know what to ACTUALLY write about. And this particular thing couldn’t have happened any more different than what I had hoped/played out in my head.

Every relationship & journey has to have its little bumps along the way, and I guess this is one for me. I think I’ve been pretty lucky since I started this blog, as overall it has been a pretty huge success story of introducing my previously completely “vanilla” wife to a pretty “out-there” thing (somewhat out there even as far as kink goes) like long term chastity. Not only has Angel been very open minded and accepting of my deep seeded desire to be locked, but she has completely embraced the role of key-holder and even learned a lot about herself along the way in terms of actually ENJOYING denying me orgasms as she has them for herself over and over again!

As anybody who has been following/reading my blog for very long would know, besides chastity Angel and I have slowly been venturing into quite a few other things along the kink spectrum; especialy in the realm of bondage, spanking, ass/foot worship, etc. The only major line Angel has drawn has been in coming out to any “public” BDSM-type events with me, whether it be a local munch, a play party, etc. She has been at least somewhat accepting of ME going to such things, but will not go herself. I can’t say that I completely agree with her reasoning, but I do at least somewhat understand where she’s coming from–being that she does work in the public sector and is fairly well known around certain circles in our community. You never know where those circles and the BDSM crowd may intersect, and Angel is very afraid of running into somebody who might recognize her. Personally I would just say that if there IS somebody there who knows her, the fact is that they are at these events for the SAME reason, and there are kind of unspoken “rules” against outing individuals that you may happen to see at kink events. But nonetheless, if Angel is not comfortable attending any events with me for those reasons, I will never force it on her.

But now back to our vacation. We spent an entire week in a Total Power Exchange with Angel playing the part of my Mistress/Domme (and doing it VERY well I may add!) For our last night on the drive home, I had come up with one last little surprise for Angel that I thought (hoped) she might enjoy. I’m not going to name any names here, but just outside of Atlanta I actually found a popular local “Dungeon,” which has a handful of private little suites for nightly rentals (each with their own private dungeon spaces as well). It’s like a kinky little B&B, only the second “B” doesn’t exactly stand for “Breakfast” in this case (think: “Bed & Bondage!”)

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Angel and I will be embarking on a long awaited vacation next week, and it absolutely cannot get here soon enough!  We’re going to be letting grandparents take care of the boys for a while so we can take a full week long trip to probably the most tropical area in the continental U.S.: the Florida Keys!  Outside of a little day trip where we drove down there a couple years ago while staying elsewhere in South Florida, I haven’t been to this location for probably 20 years or so, and I’ve been wanting to get Angel there with me for quite some time to enjoy the relaxing atomosphere, some world class SCUBA diving, etc.  So when an opportunity presented itself to spend an entire week there with just the two of us, we both jumped at the chance!

To be clear, I have no idea at this point if any other types of “keys” will be involved while we are IN the Keys!  I fully intend to continue wearing the Jail Bird until (if/when) the time comes that Angel decides to let me out.  If she decides not to even BRING the keys to my chastity device with us, that is completely up to her!  We have been talking about this and planning things for weeks now, and I believe there will be PLENTY of fun, even rather “kinky” things going on between us throughout the week, whether I am ever unlocked or not!

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Believe it or not, my last post was not originally meant to be all about “Richard,” and strap-on sex!  But as I began writing and got stuck on that topic, it just kept getting longer and longer until I felt it justified its own blog entry.  What I had intended to write about, was the deepening D/s bond which has definitely been happening between Angel and I of late!
I feel like every day I wake up loving Angel even more and more; not just as my beautiful wife, my life partner, and my (kinky) best friend, but as my key-holder and most recently–my Domme.  We’ve talked about this a few times and even Angel can’t believe how much she has been able to find her little “inner dominatrix” and how much she enjoys and even gets off on dominating me!  Of course just hearing her speak in her own words of getting off while having her way with me, just makes me want even more of it right then and there!

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As I’m locked in chastity longer and longer, I find that the things which turn me on are constantly expanding as well!  Lately, it has been feet.  Angel’s feet!  I never really knew that I had much of a foot fetish, but it would appear that I might have one now!

Maybe it started back around New Year’s this year, where I wrote about getting Angel a pair of very tall & sexy high heels for some of our playtime.  She still isn’t particularly fond of walking around in those, but does put them on for me once in a while anyway.  I’ve always loved how they look on her and always find myself wanting to get down on my knees and kiss those cute little toes sticking through them!  But up until lately I hadn’t seen that as an attraction to the feet themselves as much as just loving how much taller these heels make her (taller than me, even).  It is a very humbling and rewarding experience to be on my knees with Angel towering high above me, fully exercising her control over my entire body; most notably HER locked up dick!

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I had kind of an interesting, self-imposed experience last weekend which, well.. didn’t exactly go quite as planned/expected!  First off the boys went to spend Saturday night with their Grandpa, meaning Angel and I got the evening completely to ourselves.  After dinner and a movie we did rather quickly make it to the bedroom to have plenty of fun giving Angel numerous orgasms while I still continued to be denied in the Jail Bird!  (Which, by the way, I still have no idea when I may be out of again, but will at least be trying to write up a bit of a review of soon!)

After we were both exhausted and very satiated, it was time to get some sleep.  Angel even decided to sleep naked with me for the night, which is a fairly rare occurance these days!  It’s always nice to go to sleep snuggling up against her naked body, always just TRYING to get hard but having that steel cage constantly reminding me that it’s NOT going to happen!  With no kids in the house, it was also very likely that we would be able to pick up and continue the night’s activities again the next morning!  I think I’ve said a few times on here that morning sex is the BEST!

However, when Sunday morning came around I woke up well before Angel with a somewhat different plan brewing in my head..  I just had this deep seated desire, if not even a NEED, to have my ass played with–something we hadn’t actually engaged in at all the night before.  Since the house WAS empty, I really wanted to introduce Angel to the new spreader bar and “probe” that I wrote about playing with once a few weeks ago (see “Hands Free Anal“).  So after a little bit of contemplating how I wanted it to happen, I grabbed a few things from a bin under our bed and headed to the basement..

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My, how things can change/evolve over time!  When Angel and I first got together years ago she was so sweet and innocent, and loved nothing more than just the two of us laying in bed all afternoon, enjoying each other’s bodies, skin-on-skin, feeling me inside of her as often as possible.  That sweet, sensuous woman is definitely still around, but ever since the day that I introduced her to the concept of male chastity, Angel has come around to be MUCH more dominant in the bedroom!  As much as she still LIKES the feel of me inside her, at this point she can just as easily say NO to me getting out of the chastity device, and instead focus on a myriad of other ways to bring her pleasure!

My own outlook seems to be ever changing as well.  It’s like the more I am locked in chastity the more I WANT to be!  Back in the day when I first experimented with chastity on my own, it was always fun and I could go a while without letting myself out, but probably at least every week or two it would have to come off for an orgasm.  Now, with Angel controlling the keys it has become commonplace to go weeks and even months at a time between releases.  After finally getting an orgasm, I do tend to get a little antsy for another fairly quickly.  But then once locked again, especially after a couple weeks or so have gone by, I generally don’t even care anymore when my next one will be.

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Periodic Table of Kink

Posted: January 23, 2017 in BDSM, Chastity, Fetish, Kinky, Male Chastity

This came across my feed the other day from another blog (thank you CinnamonAndSparkles!) It was kind of a fun concept, so I thought I’d go ahead and share it here as well.

For the scienc-ey types this is kind of a fun spinoff of the periodic table of elements.  I find myself to be mostly “composed” of a lot of the elements  (kinks) to the left/upper section of the chart, with a few others scattered around in different places.  Enjoy!

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UK Kinksters Unite!

Posted: January 19, 2017 in BDSM, Fetish, Kinky

I’m going to step away from straight-up chastity topics here for a moment and venture briefly into an area that I generally HATE going into at all: Politics!

There is so much crap going around all over the world lately about various governments trying to censor “objectionable” online content. I have a very bad feeling that there will be even more of this type of thing coming to the forefront here in the U.S. over the coming years, but today’s topic will be specifically for my readers in the United Kingdom.

As far as I can understand, there is a “Digital Economy Bill” currently under consideration in Parliament which includes provisions to force ISP’s to block legal online content depicting sexual acts classified as “non-conventional.” As for what types of activities would fall into that category remains to be seen, but the thing is that what to some may seem “non-conventional & objectionable,” to others are a part of who they are, and everybody should be free to that sort of expression — granted, within normal practiced guidelines of Safe, Sane, and CONSENTUAL. It is of my opinion that as long as nobody is actually being hurt (at least beyond negotiated limits, and outside of maybe some conservatives’ collective egos!) it is not up to governments to try to legislate what types of sexual practices are “acceptable” to engage in and share with like-minded individuals. Apparently besides general content censoring, this bill would even make it much more difficult for community sites such as FetLife to operate in the UK. This would be a big blow to countless individuals who rely on such sites for not only organizing events and such, but also being able to share information/experiences to help everyone practice their myriad of kinks in the safest way possible.

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Last year around this time I went through my Current Status page and wrote up a 2015 Lock-up Summary, so I thought I’d do the same thing again for 2016.  Turns out I’m very consistent!  I felt like I was probably locked more this past year than I was the year before, but it turns out that is not true.  I was let out FEWER times, but some of them were for longer durations, so it kind of evened out.  For example, in 2015 I reported being let out of chastity 9 times, for a total of 61 days.  In 2016, I was only let out 5 times, for a total of 62 days!  As with last year, for those 5 “release periods” I only counted times where I was let out for at least one full day at a time.  If I was only out for a few minutes for a quickie orgasm or something then locked right back up, I still count that as being in chastity for that day (just being used by Angel however SHE sees fit!)

Last year I did the math to determine that I was LOCKED for a total of 304 days, or 83% of the year.  With 2016 being a leap year and all, turns out I was STILL locked for a total 304 days, or 83% of the year!  I had no idea that I was being so consistent for two years in a row, but that is still a LOT of time locked!  I know there were a couple of those 5 “outings” where I was free for about 2 weeks at a time, and one where I was out for a full 3 weeks.  Some of that was vacation related, and some was holding off on a new device to arrive, etc.  I suspect those kind of scenarios will be increasingly few and far between though.  I have actually vowed to Angel that this year (short of any unforeseen circumstances popping up) if she’s not actively “using” her dick then I will do my best to keep it locked at all times!  So we will just have to see how easy it is to keep that promise throughout 2017.

I also always find it very fun & rewarding to go back and reread some of my other posts over the past year to remember and sort of relive some of the highlights!

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