Self-Control

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I had some more great questions come in from a new reader, regarding (among other things) how I brought my wife on board with male chastity and “convinced” her to keep me locked for longer periods.

bigdaddyb wrote:

I haven’t read through all of your posts (just found the site today) but I have a few questions as I have been trying to figure out how to get my wife to be interested in chastity play.

1. How did you bring it up to your wife and did she show interest right away or did you have to slowly work into it?

2. How long did she lock you up for to begin with? (I read about your current status and lengthy lock up with enjoyment and excitement).

3. Did you have to tell her not to let you out/deny you at first? or did she take to it right away and keep you in? I ask this one because even though I have told my wife how much the thought of T&D in chastity excites me – including the denial part – she still hasn’t kept me locked more than 4 days so far.

4. Did your wife always enjoy her wand or is it something she had to get use to? I bought my wife a wand and a rabbit vibe based on everything I had read thinking that she would enjoy them and that would be a means for her to orgasm while keeping me locked but she has not shown interest in them saying that “they don’t do anything for me”.

5. Does she keep the keys hidden or does she wear one on a necklace/anklet/bracelet?

Thanks in advance for any answers/input. I’m hoping that she will eventually see the fun that can be had for her by being a more strict keyholder.


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My first chastity “sentence” in the Jail Bird, which also happened to be by far my longest continuous chastity term to date, came to an end last week. Unlike sometimes when I am let out of my device, there was no big fanfare involved, and no hot & sexy story to recount about the event. Pretty much no reason to even act like I was out, besides the fact that I was indeed free for well over a day so I felt it was worth resetting the counter and calling it a new session.

canstockphoto38512116.jpgLast Wednesday, I had a doctor appointment scheduled in the afternoon as a consultation for an upcoming colon screening. I kind of doubted that being locked would be an issue at all for just the consultation, but not knowing for sure I had asked Angel about a week earlier if she would be able to unlock me for this appointment, and she agreed. However, we both ended up forgetting about it, and I just remembered that morning as we were both getting ready for work. Unfortunately, that morning tension was already kind of high and tempers flaring a little bit around our house (I’m sure anyone who has ever had to deal with misbehaving children while already running late for work knows exactly the situation we were going through!) So in that case I opted to not add even more to Angel’s plate and ask again to be released. Since I do know exactly where she keeps the keys, once she left the house I just went back and let myself out of the Jail Bird before I went to work myself. Like I said, no fanfare whatsoever!

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I had a Reader question come in via one of my older posts (Queen’s Keep: Official Review) regarding my observation that shorter chastity cages seem to work better than longer devices and are much more comfortable for the long-term.  I felt that my response was getting a bit too wordy for the comments section, so here we are with a new post!

Tamekeri asks:

I’m curious. Can you explain why having less space in the cage means less strain on the scrotum? From what you wrote, it sounds like the less space there is in the cage, the less the penis can grow. But in my experience, the penis will grow no matter what. The less room it has to grow outwards, the more the erection is pulled into the body, but the more pressure there also is for it to go outwards. Which means that the less space there is in the cage, the more strain there will be on the scrotum, not less.


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e [lust] #93

Posted: April 17, 2017 in Fetish, Kinky, Sex

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Photo courtesy of Aurora Glory

Welcome to Elust 93

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #94 Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

A dress to die for

Pushing Past

Necessary.

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Kink lite, Kink life

Disturbance

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

The Contract

You really should consider adding your popular posts here too
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Erotic Fiction

The Contract

Speaking Truth to a Submissive Heart

Thunder

Subjugate U

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Jerking off to be banned under Texas bill

That Time Steve Bannon Destroyed Me

How to program a sex robot

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Effortless Connections & Harmonious Energy

Cialis

Playlist…

Poetry

A Love Affair, From A to Z: “A” – Always

-07.04.17_02:43-

Scouting: A Lusty Limericks

Erotic Non-Fiction

Conflict(ed) part 2

It’s All About The Feet

TEASE

Oral Birthday Fun ~ The Glorious Sixty-Ninth!

I Will Do…

The subtle threesome

Events

Eroticon 2017 – I Herd U Lieks It

Body Talk and Sexual Health

photo shoots past and future

Elust 88


Today I have hit a full SIX MONTHS straight of being locked in the Jail Bird!  This is already roughly two months longer than my previous personal chastity record, and still counting.  Now this is not to say that I have had completely zero orgasms over the past 6 months or have been locked absolutely 24×7 since October 4, 2016, but both of those statements are ALMOST true.

According to my records on my Current Status page, I have only been unlocked very briefly a total of 4 times over the past 6 months, including two of them on the same day.  I would estimate that I have had less than 1 hour TOTAL of “freedom” since we began this lock-up session.  And each of those outings did include an orgasm, so I can say that I’ve had a total of 4 full orgasms plus 2 of what I like to call “Chastegasms.”  So I guess you could say that I am still averaging 1 “release” per month, give or take a few days/weeks.

Now I’m not going to lie, a chastegasm does feel pretty damn good and does provide a bit of relief from all of the pent up sexual energy that just keeps building inside of me during long periods of chastity.  It ends up being pretty close to a “normal” orgasm, but still very different at the same time.  There’s just something about being scrunched in a steel cage less than 2 inches long, not being able to get completely hard at all and not feeling the stroking motion all the way down your shaft that makes it a completely new experience.  The only way I’ve ever even been able to have one is with very strong vibrations (i.e. from a Hitachi Magic Wand) directly on the tip of the cage.  The most recent such experience was just this past weekend, and it’s a fun story!

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As I’m locked in chastity longer and longer, I find that the things which turn me on are constantly expanding as well!  Lately, it has been feet.  Angel’s feet!  I never really knew that I had much of a foot fetish, but it would appear that I might have one now!

Maybe it started back around New Year’s this year, where I wrote about getting Angel a pair of very tall & sexy high heels for some of our playtime.  She still isn’t particularly fond of walking around in those, but does put them on for me once in a while anyway.  I’ve always loved how they look on her and always find myself wanting to get down on my knees and kiss those cute little toes sticking through them!  But up until lately I hadn’t seen that as an attraction to the feet themselves as much as just loving how much taller these heels make her (taller than me, even).  It is a very humbling and rewarding experience to be on my knees with Angel towering high above me, fully exercising her control over my entire body; most notably HER locked up dick!

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So this isn’t directly chastity related, but it COULD be! A man trying to wear a metal cock ring that’s too small, gets it stuck on, and has to have the local fire department cut it off with an angle grinder!

I’ve linked to the original news article below, as well as pasted the text directly into my blog in case the link ever goes away for any reason..  It’s also a pretty interesting read (with more detail on the case) from the Irish Medical Journal, here:

http://imj.ie/multidisciplinary-emergent-removal-of-a-metal-penoscrotal-constriction-device/

The bottom line here folks is measure, measure, measure! Don’t try to be tough and wear a base ring with your chastity device that’s way too tight! If it’s painful, get it off right away and try something else.  Don’t let this be you next!

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There are a few other chastity sites/forums (besides mine) that I follow fairly religiously, and will chime in once in a while on various subjects when I feel I might have something relevant to say.  I’m not going to call out the other sites here, but it’s likely that at least some of you reading this have probably seen me perusing other groups! 🙂  Anyway, one topic that seems to come up on a somewhat regular basis is that of revealing your chastity device to others.  Especially others who may not know anything about this kind of thing, and probably don’t WANT to know anything about that side of your sexuality!  Most of the time in the groups I’m reading this is centered around chastity specifically, but it can usually also be applied to revealing any other “kink” to unsuspecting persons, and it generally gets into the issue of consent vs. non-consent as well.

The place this comes up most often is when talking about wearing a chastity device in a locker room, be it at the gym, pool, or elsewhere.  I guess for some locked-up guys it’s kind of exciting to be exposed in that type of environment with a risk of being seen, or getting “caught.”  These usually turn into fairly lengthy discussions, with at least one person adamantly stating that it is NEVER ok to purposely force your kink onto non-consenting outsiders.  It’s an interesting debate.  I can see both sides to this, and I think locker rooms in particular seem to be a pretty big gray area.
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I have been wanting for a while to write up a good review of my “Jail Bird” chastity device now that I’ve been wearing it for some time, so here it is!  I’m going to at least try to make this somewhat of a shortened version though.  I know that I’ve written before, and I will still maintain that among Mature Metal’s devices, the Jail Bird and Queen’s Keep are VERY similar in terms of form, function, comfort, etc.  So probably 99% of what I wrote in my Queen’s Keep review will still apply to this device.  That can be viewed HERE.  Instead of repeating much of that information, I will instead try to focus on the differences that I made in the new order and how that’s been working out for me, much of which would have been the same had I been ordering a new Queen’s Keep as well! Read the rest of this entry »


Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!  Being how it falls in the middle of the week this year, Angel and I had a chance to celebrate this past weekend instead.  Friday night we had an all-night sitter for the kids, so when those nights come around something fun is almost always bound to happen!  We started off with getting tickets to a Broadway production currently touring at a theatre in our city.  I haven’t been to a live show myself for a few years, so that’s always a good date night!  Since we ran out of time for dinner beforehand, we stopped off for some food after the show, then it was back home where we very quickly made our way to the bedroom, already getting quite frisky!

As I warmed Angel up with my hands, she wanted to jump straight to her best friend (the Magic Wand), propping it between my legs and riding herself to several quick and powerful orgasms!  I love the experience of getting to have a front row seat and being kept right on the edge for the entire time, while Angel basically just uses my body as a wand holder and comes over and over again on top of HER locked dick!  In fact there aren’t many places I’d rather be, second only to having my head down BETWEEN her legs licking her to even more orgasms..  That’s a good thing, I suppose, since as soon as she was completely drenched from riding her wand, Angel rolled over to her back and nudged me right down there to help clean up!

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I had kind of an interesting, self-imposed experience last weekend which, well.. didn’t exactly go quite as planned/expected!  First off the boys went to spend Saturday night with their Grandpa, meaning Angel and I got the evening completely to ourselves.  After dinner and a movie we did rather quickly make it to the bedroom to have plenty of fun giving Angel numerous orgasms while I still continued to be denied in the Jail Bird!  (Which, by the way, I still have no idea when I may be out of again, but will at least be trying to write up a bit of a review of soon!)

After we were both exhausted and very satiated, it was time to get some sleep.  Angel even decided to sleep naked with me for the night, which is a fairly rare occurance these days!  It’s always nice to go to sleep snuggling up against her naked body, always just TRYING to get hard but having that steel cage constantly reminding me that it’s NOT going to happen!  With no kids in the house, it was also very likely that we would be able to pick up and continue the night’s activities again the next morning!  I think I’ve said a few times on here that morning sex is the BEST!

However, when Sunday morning came around I woke up well before Angel with a somewhat different plan brewing in my head..  I just had this deep seated desire, if not even a NEED, to have my ass played with–something we hadn’t actually engaged in at all the night before.  Since the house WAS empty, I really wanted to introduce Angel to the new spreader bar and “probe” that I wrote about playing with once a few weeks ago (see “Hands Free Anal“).  So after a little bit of contemplating how I wanted it to happen, I grabbed a few things from a bin under our bed and headed to the basement..

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My, how things can change/evolve over time!  When Angel and I first got together years ago she was so sweet and innocent, and loved nothing more than just the two of us laying in bed all afternoon, enjoying each other’s bodies, skin-on-skin, feeling me inside of her as often as possible.  That sweet, sensuous woman is definitely still around, but ever since the day that I introduced her to the concept of male chastity, Angel has come around to be MUCH more dominant in the bedroom!  As much as she still LIKES the feel of me inside her, at this point she can just as easily say NO to me getting out of the chastity device, and instead focus on a myriad of other ways to bring her pleasure!

My own outlook seems to be ever changing as well.  It’s like the more I am locked in chastity the more I WANT to be!  Back in the day when I first experimented with chastity on my own, it was always fun and I could go a while without letting myself out, but probably at least every week or two it would have to come off for an orgasm.  Now, with Angel controlling the keys it has become commonplace to go weeks and even months at a time between releases.  After finally getting an orgasm, I do tend to get a little antsy for another fairly quickly.  But then once locked again, especially after a couple weeks or so have gone by, I generally don’t even care anymore when my next one will be.

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This came across my feed the other day from another blog (thank you CinnamonAndSparkles!) It was kind of a fun concept, so I thought I’d go ahead and share it here as well.  

For the scienc-ey types this is kind of a fun spinoff of the periodic table of elements.  I find myself to be mostly “composed” of a lot of the elements  (kinks) to the left/upper section of the chart, with a few others scattered around in different places.  Enjoy!

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UK Kinksters Unite!

Posted: January 19, 2017 in BDSM, Fetish, Kinky

I’m going to step away from straight-up chastity topics here for a moment and venture briefly into an area that I generally HATE going into at all: Politics!

There is so much crap going around all over the world lately about various governments trying to censor “objectionable” online content. I have a very bad feeling that there will be even more of this type of thing coming to the forefront here in the U.S. over the coming years, but today’s topic will be specifically for my readers in the United Kingdom.

As far as I can understand, there is a “Digital Economy Bill” currently under consideration in Parliament which includes provisions to force ISP’s to block legal online content depicting sexual acts classified as “non-conventional.” As for what types of activities would fall into that category remains to be seen, but the thing is that what to some may seem “non-conventional & objectionable,” to others are a part of who they are, and everybody should be free to that sort of expression — granted, within normal practiced guidelines of Safe, Sane, and CONSENTUAL. It is of my opinion that as long as nobody is actually being hurt (at least beyond negotiated limits, and outside of maybe some conservatives’ collective egos!) it is not up to governments to try to legislate what types of sexual practices are “acceptable” to engage in and share with like-minded individuals. Apparently besides general content censoring, this bill would even make it much more difficult for community sites such as FetLife to operate in the UK. This would be a big blow to countless individuals who rely on such sites for not only organizing events and such, but also being able to share information/experiences to help everyone practice their myriad of kinks in the safest way possible.

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Last year around this time I went through my Current Status page and wrote up a 2015 Lock-up Summary, so I thought I’d do the same thing again for 2016.  Turns out I’m very consistent!  I felt like I was probably locked more this past year than I was the year before, but it turns out that is not true.  I was let out FEWER times, but some of them were for longer durations, so it kind of evened out.  For example, in 2015 I reported being let out of chastity 9 times, for a total of 61 days.  In 2016, I was only let out 5 times, for a total of 62 days!  As with last year, for those 5 “release periods” I only counted times where I was let out for at least one full day at a time.  If I was only out for a few minutes for a quickie orgasm or something then locked right back up, I still count that as being in chastity for that day (just being used by Angel however SHE sees fit!)

Last year I did the math to determine that I was LOCKED for a total of 304 days, or 83% of the year.  With 2016 being a leap year and all, turns out I was STILL locked for a total 304 days, or 83% of the year!  I had no idea that I was being so consistent for two years in a row, but that is still a LOT of time locked!  I know there were a couple of those 5 “outings” where I was free for about 2 weeks at a time, and one where I was out for a full 3 weeks.  Some of that was vacation related, and some was holding off on a new device to arrive, etc.  I suspect those kind of scenarios will be increasingly few and far between though.  I have actually vowed to Angel that this year (short of any unforeseen circumstances popping up) if she’s not actively “using” her dick then I will do my best to keep it locked at all times!  So we will just have to see how easy it is to keep that promise throughout 2017.

I also always find it very fun & rewarding to go back and reread some of my other posts over the past year to remember and sort of relive some of the highlights!

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Once again I just wanted to wish everybody a Happy New Year, and take a few moments to recap the fun night that WE had this past weekend, albeit a day early for the new year.  I knew that Angel and I would be out all night with the extended family on new year’s eve, so I had planned our own little party the night before!  Once we were sure the kids were both sound asleep, I had Angel change into a sexy new piece of lingerie I’d bought for her and meet me in the bedroom.  I wish I could get a couple pics on here of that but I doubt she’d appreciate that very much!  But it is this bright red outfit, trimmed in black lace which just barely covers the nipples, then a pair of black fishnet stockings and some new strappy high heels.  Very tall heels have never really been Angel’s “thing,” but I bought her a pair this time anyway hoping she might try them on for me at least once, and I must say that they do look very HOT on her!  She is a tall woman anyway, and these actually make her even taller than me.  When she’s standing and I’m not, it’s as if Angel is just completely towering over me which just seems to add even more to the new D/s dynamic that has been growing ever stronger between us lately!

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Happy Chaste New Year everybody!  I still have to go back and see just exactly how much I was locked this past year as compared to the year before, but it definitely felt like more.  And I don’t really make “resolutions,” but if I have one main goal for this coming year it will be to stay locked for Angel even more than ever before!

I am so used to this as a lifestyle now, that it almost seems strange to be unlocked much longer than a few hours at a time.  I’m guessing that this year will bring much more of being unlocked whenever Angel wants me out, and at that ONLY for however long it takes to please her!  Then I can go right back into the Jail Bird until the next time..  Pending any “life” circumstances that might dictate otherwise (doctor visits? vacations-air travel? unforseen device issues?) I don’t really see much reason not to be able to commit to that for all of 2017!


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Wow, can I just say: This has been one of the more fun & rewarding Christmas seasons that I can ever remember!  Of course, our boys are at just the right age where they are really into everything, so that is always a blast to watch them. But Angel and I have also been able to have even more of our own fun behind closed doors, every day lately!  Honestly I can’t even remember the last day that we DIDN’T either wake up and/or go to bed with some play time, and with SO many orgasms for Angel!  I’m sure it’s been every day for at least the better part of the past two weeks now, and I see no reason that this streak might break at least until we get into the new year!

Some of the most fun yet, has been just the past couple of nights, starting on Christmas Eve.  We knew we’d have to be getting up early with the boys the next day to see what Santa brought for them, but Angel was all for having some fun of our own the night before!  I had thought she’d be too tired that night since we were already up past midnight finishing up the last bit of wrapping, etc.  But when I realized she wasn’t I had a little early gift for her.  First I sent her off to change into a fun new piece of lingerie I’d picked up for her.  She had asked for something rather “slutty” for christmas, so when she came back in her red lace outfit decked out with bits of white fur along the neckline and of course crotchless panties, I could tell by the look on her face that she was really going to love being my slutty little Mrs. Clause for the evening!  For myself, I had pulled on a new pair of green velvet underwear complete with a red ribbon tied into a bow right at the tip of my cage.  A nice little “present” for Angel to unwrap later if she so desired!

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Merry Christmas, everybody!  True to our now almost-famous jingle (LOL) still posted down below, I am still locked for Christmas!  I did have one little surprise release about two days before the holiday, but was immediately locked back up afterwards.  Other than that there is no end in sight until Angel decides… And that, to me, is the best gift she could give me!

So while we’re on the topic of songs, Christmas Carols, etc. I will sign off today with a very quick stab at another familiar tune.  Primarily targeted at anybody who is locked in chastity, thinking of being locked in chastity, or locking or thinking of locking somebody ELSE into chastity.  Enjoy!

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Munch with Friends

Posted: December 21, 2016 in BDSM, Chastity, Fetish, Kinky, Male Chastity

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Who needs ‘Words with Friends’ when you can go to a kinky Munch with Friends?!  As I’ve written about a couple times previously, I have been trying to get a little more involved in the local kink community this year through various munches, etc.  It’s not something that I’ve been able to make it to EVERY month, but I do what I can to get there as often as possible, and Angel is aware of them now as well.

Last night was the scheduled day for the local munch that I normally try to attend, and I had already cleared things through Angel and planned on heading out there for a little while.  But then in a somewhat surprising turn of events, yesterday afternoon Angel sent me a text out of the blue asking if there was any chance of getting a sitter that night if she should happen to decide to go WITH me!  I know I must have done quite a double-take and had to reread the text a couple of times to make sure I was understanding her right, but I was very excited at that prospect!  I’ve always said that the only thing that might make these things better would be if Angel was there to share it with, but I won’t force that kind of thing on her if she’s not comfortable with it or ready to meet like-minded people out in public like that.

But as it turns out there was far more to this story as well!

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