Thrill of the Chaste

So it seems that I have become “that guy” here on the internet…  You know the one.  That guy who starts a cool little blog about a very niche topic, keeps it up for a few years with some interesting and relevant experiences from his life, establishes a pretty decent following, then just sort of… disappears.  And for that – I’m Sorry! 

Unfortunately I can’t say it’s going to change much in the very near future, as we all know how life can swing this way and that.  Kids grow, get into new things, and parents are pretty much along for the ride until eventually they’ll make their way out of the nest and we’ll be back to more of our own hobbies again!  I will keep this blog published for as long as I’m able, hopefully even sneaking a post in every now and then like this one, but right now I am the parent along for the ride of my kids lives!  I really do love my kids and don’t mind doing the dad thing for a while! Ultimately that really is more important than kink, and this is a blog about kink – NOT kids.

That is certainly not to say chastity is out of my life though!  Quite the contrary, as I am getting closer to my second 2+ year stint without a release!  It’s just kind of part of me now, and I still enjoy giving Angel orgasms so much that I can hardly imagine actually being out to have my own anymore!  We don’t even keep the keys in the house these days, so neither of us are ever tempted to use them.  In fact, it would take BOTH of us to ever actually get them back!

We have some property about a 30-minute drive from our current house, where eventually we plan to build a new home.  I have a shed out there with my tractor and other things that I use for maintaining that property.  Inside the shed, secured to a shelf in the corner is a lockbox containing the keys to my chastity cage, which only Angel knows the combination for.  However, since Angel is rarely out there without me, she prefers not to keep a key to the shed for herself.  So while I can’t access the lockbox without HER, she can’t even get into the shed without ME!  It’s a bit of a catch-22 ordeal which definitely prevents unlocking me on a whim for either one of us!  In fact, we have tentatively agreed that we will most likely not even try that at this point until we have the new house built and are actually living at that location.  Being how we haven’t even broken ground yet, it’s going to be a while!

 

The main reason for this post though isn’t just to be about my current state of lockup.  I really wanted to take some time to write about a new experience I’ve recently had (while still locked), which will probably be a bit controversial for some.  It all has to do with hair removal – specifically waxing!  I have been shaving pretty much everything from the neck down, and trying all sorts of other things to keep body hair at bay for several years now.  But a few months ago I decided to try some professional waxing, at least on my chest, stomach, underarms, legs, and eventually even added on my full arms.  I have really enjoyed doing that and it has become a fairly regular routine for those areas.  I wasn’t going to go any further than that (i.e. a Brazilian), mainly because of course I am locked in a chastity cage with no quick access to the keys!

It has still been an interesting thing to ponder though, so during one visit to my local salon I came out and asked my regular esthetician if she ever does Brazilian waxes.  The answer was that Yes she does, but honestly only on women.  She was clearly trying not to offend me (which I was not offended in the least!) but she made it very clear that she would just really not be comfortable doing that with men and was pretty sure the other esthetician that she worked with there was the same way.  NO PROBLEM AT ALL! I completely understand and respect that, and would never push that conversation any further with her even though I’m more than happy to keep going back to have the rest of my body waxed!

Still… Any time I would bring the razor into the shower with me to take care of any excess hair growing around my cage, would have me wondering.  Are there other places near me that might actually do a Male Brazilian?  But even if there was, what about that darn cage?  Do I need to ask Angel to take it off just for waxing purposes?   Here is where we are going to start diving into what I consider to be a huge gray area in that all important topic of the kink world: CONSENT!

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Before I start getting a bunch of nasty comments here, please just hear me out!  For most people (Ok maybe pretty much everybody) that I’ve ever talked to about this either IRL or through chat/comments here on the net, there is no “gray area” when it comes to consent.  It is completely black and white, as in simply DON’T DO IT!  NEVER ever, ever, ever, expose your kink to a “vanilla” person in a vanilla environment, without their express consent.  And I AGREE!  Truly, I do.

But I do have one huge follow-up question which is where I consider the beginning of the gray area on this topic:

How does a person go about actually GETTING consent (whether kink-related or for literally any other thing in life) without actually ASKING for it? 

The thing is, you don’t.  I challenge you to take ANY yes/no question that you can dream up to ask another person, and tell me:  What is the default answer if you never even ask the question?  NO.  The answer to an unasked question is always NO!

However, if two adults (even strangers) can simply have a conversation and at least ASK a question… Well, it’s still very possible the answer could be NO.  In which case we all know that NO means NO and that MUST be respected at all costs!  But if all cards are on the table, there is also always a chance of getting a YES!  Which is where the rest of my waxing story comes in!

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I started checking around to other waxing salons in my area, and found one which did explicitly list Male Brazilian on their list of available services.  So that’s a start.  I began poking around as if planning to book an appointment online, and like many places you can either choose “any available” provider or choose a specific person if you’re already established or know someone.  For that particular service there was only one person on the list to choose from, whereas most other services had 10 or so different estheticians available.  So clearly, most people in this field are like the esthetician at my original salon, and don’t necessarily feel comfortable waxing male bits!  Again, NO PROBLEM, but at least there was one possibility here!  [For the sake of protecting identities we will call her Kat, for the purposes of this blog]

I wanted to book the appointment, but also really wanted to at least talk to Kat first.  The last thing I wanted to do was just show up for the first time meeting her at her job, drop my pants for a Brazilian, and be like “Oh and by the way…  I’m going to need you to work around this big metal thing here too!”  That would NOT be good and I do believe would seriously cross the line of consent!

So instead, I decided to book Kat for a different service first.  I already have another provider for the rest of my body waxing whom I am very happy with, but I also noticed a couple other services at this place that I’d never heard of being offered at my other salon: Ear & Nose waxing!  I’d never had either of those done before, but sure — that sounded interesting to also try at least once in my life!  Of course there were a ton of employees on the list able to do ear & nose waxing, but I was able to specifically schedule it with Kat.

I went to the appointment, found Kat to be extremely nice and professional, and we were finished within about 10 minutes or so.  As she was cleaning up, I went ahead and started a conversation with her about how even though I’d never been to that particular salon before, I had actually requested her specifically for this job because I’d noticed that she seemed to be the only provider who would also do Male Brazilians…  She confirmed that was true, but hopefully they’d be getting a couple other estheticians trained to do that in the near future.  I went on to say that I’d been curious and interested in trying something like that – but admittedly I was a little nervous about it.  That was clearly something she was used to hearing so she went about explaining the whole process in very broad, general terms.  She was very good at reassuring me that a lot of guys do this, and it’s no big deal, very easy, etc.

Finally, I got a little deeper into the conversation and told her that it was more than just that…  As in – if we were to do this, she would inevitably learn things about me, that frankly only one other person besides my wife has ever seen (referring to my tattoo artist!) and of course you can’t exactly “unsee” things once it’s out there.  So I just wanted to ensure that SHE was comfortable with things like… “alternative lifestyle choices,” etc.

Again in a display of utmost professionalism and kindness, Kat assured me that Yes, she was perfectly OK with “whatever it was,” and that I was in the “safest possible environment” to just be myself there.  I have no idea if she was expecting something more mild like a piercing, or what was going through her mind at the time.  But only at that point did I go ahead and just came out with the statement that I do wear a chastity device down there, and don’t exactly have access to the keys.  I realize that could complicate things like waxing/hair removal, and it’s entirely possible that some hairs along the base may not be possible to even get.  But that said, anything that IS visible and accessible, I would still love to go ahead and try to have waxed, IF she was willing to work with me on it.  I emphasized that if she was uncomfortable with that situation in the least, I would not be offended whatsoever and we needn’t ever talk about it again!

But even that was not necessary, as Kat didn’t even bat an eyelash as she said “Of course!”  She appreciated my concern for her, but explained that it is a very individualized service where she can take as much or as little hair off as I’d like.  So whatever we can get she was perfectly willing to do the job.  Kat really had a way of making my nerves completely disappear and I was very happy to go ahead and make an appointment the next week for my first Brazilian!

Fast forward a few days until my next appointment, and I am back on the table naked from the waist down, and being waxed.  I apologize again to Kat for what must be a very different, even “strange” job compared to what she was probably used to, and offer to help hold things out of the way as much as possible as she works on different areas.  She did take me up on the extra set of hands to help, but again assured me that it’s “just a thing…” and one reason that she and others get into that profession is to help people feel more comfortable with their bodies no matter what that entails.  It was truly no big deal for her, and she continued to keep things completely professional (even clinical), throughout the whole process.

We never discussed anything deeper regarding kink, chastity, why I do it, or anything like that.  As it should be, because it doesn’t matter!  I was there for one purpose, which was to get the same waxing service that is provided to other men who come in there NOT wearing a chastity cage!  Kat and I both understood this, and focused solely on the job at hand.  I’m glad I did it, and will most likely go back to keep up the maintenance on that area.  We were able to work around the base of the cage fairly well by stretching the skin one way or the other, but couldn’t really get quite everything off of the scrotum the first time around just because she didn’t want to keep re-waxing over the same spots on more sensitive skin.  But I do think that one more time or so should clean things up VERY nicely!

For the record I was NOT aroused in any way, or definitely not secretly “getting off” on the fact that I had just exposed my little secret to someone who may or may not have ever even HEARD of modern chastity devices until that time.  In my opinion, I think that’s where (some) guys might tend to cross the line…  It’s all about respect, transparency, and a willingness to walk away if the other person says NO or even shows the least sign of uncertainty.  I began my journey by completely humbling myself to a stranger and laying out my “different” circumstances that might make her think twice about having me as a waxing client.  Had Kat opted out, I would have simply thanked her for her time, still tipped well for the other services I had received that day, and been on my way.

I guess the moral of this story is that you NEVER know, unless you ASK!  Just having the conversation, is NOT an automatic consent violation unless you go too far and turn it into one!  So if you’re ever trying to hire a “vanilla” service, knowing full well that worlds will collide with your daily “kink” lifestyle, my advice is to just keep it professional and talk directly and honesty with the service provider ahead of time to make sure all parties are comfortable with the situation and willing to proceed.  I guess I may be lucky as I’ve done this twice now with no ill results: previously with a tattoo artist and now an esthetician.  I will not say DON’T try this yourself, but DO make sure that the conversations are had, and consent is granted (not assumed) for every step of the way.  Good Luck!

P.S. Oh, and if you are a man who is curious about Brazilian Waxing (how much it might hurt, etc.)  Try having your stomach done a few times first.  If you can handle THAT one ok, the pubes will be NO PROBLEM!  At least in my experience.  As always, Your Mileage May Vary, but the end result is well worth it!  🙂