Why Chastity?

Posted: May 9, 2016 in Chastity, Fetish, Key-Holder, Kinky, Long Term Chastity, Male Chastity, Orgasm, Orgasm Denial



As more and more people discover and read parts of my blog, I inevitably field a number of various questions around chastity.  I do try my best to get back with at least a brief answer for each and every question that comes up, and many of them even become an entire topic for a new blog post.  One question that seems to be asked most often is simply “WHY?  Why the heck would I actually WANT to be locked in a chastity device and be denied orgasm?  I write often about all of the orgasms/pleasure that Angel is receiving (at my “expense”), but what about MY pleasure; isn’t that important too?

canstockphoto8241603Now, the easiest answer to that question would be to just go back and read my entire blog from the beginning! After all, that’s basically what the entire subject of Thrill of the Chaste is all about! 🙂  But that’s kind of mean.. I could never actually answer one of my readers in that way!  Lol  I am into the 100’s of posts now, so that would be an awful lot of content to sift through.  And I do greatly appreciate the fact that so many people do read my blog and ask such thoughtful questions as they try to comprehend why exactly I do what I do, so I don’t think it would be fair in the least to just brush anybody aside and tell them that their question has already been answered, so go find it…

As I thought more about it, I realized that I have written pretty extensively on various blog posts about WHY I enjoy chastity so much, but I can’t recall ever dedicating one single post to that topic alone.  So here it is!  This should give a pretty good rundown of why I allow myself to be locked in chastity (and even ask for it).  When I get this question in the future, I may very well start redirecting folks back to this particular page, so if that is you, please don’t be offended that I didn’t type out a personalized, lengthy response to your question.  I think this should give you the very basics, and if you want to know more about literally ANY aspect of the lifestyle that I haven’t covered enough of here, please feel free to keep asking questions!  If you ask about something that I either don’t know or don’t have any direct experience with then I will tell you that; but if I have any insights/opinions on the topic then I’m more than happy to share it!

First of all,

WHAT is Male Chastity?

wpid-20141107_230720.jpgSimply put, Male Chastity is a conscious decision for a man to not orgasm, either by his own hand, by “normal” sex, or by any other means.  A period of chastity can last anywhere from a couple of hours to several days/weeks/months/years(?) at a time.  It can be a decision by the man alone to engage in “solo chastity” or it can be enjoyed with the involvement of a partner.  It can be as simple as using the honor system where the man commits to never touching himself in that way, or it can be enforced by wearing one of many different chastity devices that are available on the market today.  I find that enforced chastity does become much more effective when done with a partner, as (s)he can take control of the keys and therefore make all decisions regarding if/when the chastity device should be unlocked…

For more information there are numerous resources online, or I could also recommend some light reading with The Toybag Guide to Chastity Play [Yes, a real BOOK! Lol]



Ok, so…

WHY would a man want to be chaste?

25009438I’m sure if you asked 100 different men in this lifestyle why they do it, you would probably get about 100 different answers.  So for the sake of this post I can only share my own perspective.  To start with, and to elaborate on my above description of chastity, I should say that I do engage more in the realm of “enforced chastity,” and I do indeed wear a device for sometimes weeks/months at a time.  My wife, Angel, is my key-holder, and I am never released or allowed an orgasm until SHE decides!  So why do I want this?

Well for starters, I happen to enjoy the confined feeling of wearing a chastity cage.  That’s not something that I can really explain “why,” but I would liken it to “why do you prefer certain foods over others?” or “Why do you like certain types of music over others?”  Everybody is wired a little different, and I’m quite sure that not EVERY man would appreciate not being able to get hard because there are a couple of steel bars in the way preventing a full-on erection.  But I enjoy it, so that’s pretty much that.  When we first upgraded to a metal device, Angel did express some concern about it hurting me.  I assured her that it really did not hurt at all, and it could actually be thought of more like a piece of jewelry…  People wear rings, piercings, etc. all over their body with no problems.  This is just a different place to have jewelry like that, and it also happens to have an added function of preventing erections!  Angel did seem to feel much better about it after that explanation.

Besides just the feeling of confinement, there are SO many other feelings that come from wearing a chastity device, both physically and mentally.  For one, I find that I am “aroused” almost constantly.  No, there is no erection to show for it, but sex is on my mind to some extent pretty much all day long.  I realize that for many men this would be very frustrating, to be so conscious of their sexuality but not be able to sneak off to some corner and take care of it..  But over time that changes to more of a craving!  As Sarah Jameson writes in her e-book “Be Careful What You Wish For,” a man in chastity may WANT an orgasm, but he CRAVES denial.  I definitely do find that to be true!

canstockphoto18721405I think one of the best parts of being locked (especially during times of being intimate with my wife/key-holder) is that it’s like I am right on the edge of an orgasm pretty much all the time!  Normally, with “regular” sex, I would reach that plateau fairly quickly, then I’d be over the edge and it would be all over…  This way, I get 99% of the way there and get to hold that feeling for a very, very long time!  It is well worth forgoing only a few seconds worth of that last 1%, when the 99% lasts so long.  I truly believe that this is about as close as most guys can get to multiple orgasms–and yes, it is WONDERFUL! 🙂



and Finally,

 HOW does one live, not having sex?

wpid-20150925_085440.jpgThere’s a very common misconception about chastity, that being locked in a device means you can’t have sex.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Angel and I actually have far MORE sex now than we did pre-chastity!  No, I don’t get to be inside her very often anymore, but the amount of other sexual contact that we have with each other has increased by at least ten-fold.  I find that I am pretty much horny ALL the time (for obvious reasons! Lol) and as Angel has seen more and more benefit to KEEPING me that way, she is always wanting more of it too!  Chastity has opened up so many other doors for exploring other avenues of our sexuality; be it oral, anal, using a multitude of various toys on each other, light bondage & spanking (both giving and receiving), etc.

There is just something very good and fulfilling (to me, at least) about giving up control of my sexuality and instead focusing all of that energy onto my wife.  When I get to watch her (and even better–help her) have one or more orgasms during a session, that energy often seems to be enough to satiate BOTH of our sexual appetites!  As counter-intuitive as it may seem, I am truly not exaggerating when I say that I can and do derive my own pleasure vicariously through Angel’s.  As long as I get to keep helping HER to orgasm regularly, as much as I may want one I really don’t NEED a release for myself..  At least, not very often.  I’d probably draw a line before saying “Never,” and we are certainly not at that point in our lives anyway.




  1. I just think it is great that you are able to live your life on your, and your wife’s terms. It is wonderful to see more and more people finding fulfilment with their once taboo desires. It might just be the age of open sexuality and for people to be happy to explore their own darker desires. I am happy your wife is able to be a part of this too. Good luck to you both.

    • pcguy0681 says:

      Thank you so much, that was very nice! Yes, it is absolutely wonderful to be able to explore so much with my wife, and so fun to see her open up to more and more things as time goes on! I am a very lucky guy indeed… 🙂

  2. Really appreciate this post. I would add, at least from my perspective, that with my wife I never wanted to feel like I was pushing sex on her and every time I would try to get close and get intimate she assumed that I wanted to have intercourse. (she told me that was the case whenever I would get up close to her in bed and I would get an erection). But I also didn’t want the feeling of rejection if I was in the mood and she wasn’t. This is a way to get past all of those personal mind games by way of taking the pressure off of my wife and letting her make the decisions on timing for full intercourse but yet being able to keep me on edge and excited and wanting to help her fulfill her sexual desires in the mean time. The fact that women can have so many orgasms per day compared to the slow build up it takes a guy to be able to perform multiple times makes it extrememly exciting to be kept on that edge and like you said feel like you are having multiple orgasms while not actually getting that release. That happened just last night while my wife was caressing and teasing me through my cage and making me jump and get right to the edge multiple times without actually going over. She wasn’t in the mood for anything more than that but she loves how when she is able to have that control over my excitement levels that I begin to get very passionate in the way that I rub her back/body. And now I can’t help but think about her all day today because of how I am still on that high. I’m sure the whys can be various and multiple per person – but I appreciate your efforts to put you “why” to words.

  3. gouli68 says:

    How do you get pleasure ? With your other holes ? (Mouth or/and butt)

    • pcguy0681 says:

      Well yes, we do play with butt plugs, strap-ons, etc. from time to time but that is not very often by comparison. My pleasure, for the most part, truly does come vicariously through Angel’s!

      I get to ride that “high” of being right on the brink of an orgasm for a VERY long time; much longer than when I’m unlocked! And often when she has HER orgasms I truly feel as if I’m coming right along with her, and afterwards feel just as worn out and completely satiated as if I DID!

      I even get to experience, pretty much, what it feels like to have multiple orgasms–and I have to say it is GREAT! It is well worth staying locked for as long as Angel wishes for me to stay this way!

  4. Such a great post. Being on the edge of orgasm all of the time is spot on!

  5. 2beundone says:

    i appreciate this post. Thank you.

  6. SexiLeaks says:

    It’s interesting to hear a man’s perspective of the situation women are often in. I guess it’s true – it’s better (or at least as good!) to give than to receive. Great post, great blog – thanks!

    • pcguy0681 says:

      Hmm, that’s an interesting statement about “the situation women are often in.” IF you don’t mind, could you elaborate on that a bit more? Do you mean for instance, where women might often be the ones “giving” orgasms to their men, but not really necessarily getting much back in return? (where chastity play may or may not even be a part of the relationship at all?)

      Is that something which, in your opinion, [some] women might also enjoy giving more than receiving? Or am I just completely missing your point? I realize that every relationship is different, and I’m certainly not trying to put everybody into neat little gender-specific boxes here with certain roles to fill! 🙂

      Thanks so much for reading, I’m glad you enjoy the blog!

      • SexiLeaks says:

        In answer to your first paragraph, yes, that’s exactly what we meant. In answer to your second, it could be but it’s a matter of conscious free choice. If a woman doesn’t know much about her body/ orgasm, she’s unwittingly put in a position of chastity and it can make her vulnerable to manipulation and control – even if it’s just control by her unconscious desires.
        ‘When a girl becomes sexually excited, her bladder fills with liquid making her tighten in around the guy and exposing the sensitive nerves of the notorious Gspot. And, when she reaches climax, this liquid shoots out, the same way it happens for a guy.’ – watch more here.
        We have spoken with many women – older, younger, married, single – and the majority didn’t know anything about their orgasm (including about ejaculation to achieve full satisfaction and a sense of completion). This widespread lack of awareness is a deeply rooted cause of many societal realities. That is what our blog is about.
        Everything between adult people that follows INFORMED/CONSCIOUS free choice/consent is fair play but if some information is suppressed or twisted/perverted to facilitate control….
        Much love, SexiLeaks

  7. Once again, informative and interesting, am glad to be following this blog.

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