Reader Question: Chastity For Self-Help

Posted: February 5, 2018 in Chastity, Fetish, Key-Holder, Kinky, Male Chastity, Orgasm Denial


A comment came in over on my Discussion Board that I wanted to address in a new post rather than being hidden out there on a separate page.  This may be one of the last topics to come through that particular board, as I am trying to figure out the best way to shut down new comments there without losing the old content, in favor of running any new such discussions through my FetLife group.


Of course, you are always welcome to comment on any individual blog posts about the topic at hand, or send me a direct e-mail via my Contact Page.  Just please be advised that FetLife really is to be the preferred medium going forward for any general discussions like this that fall outside of existing blog entries.  It is free to join, you’ll never be forced to enter a credit card # or anything along those lines, and there is a WEALTH of information out there far beyond my group.  So come on out and join us!

But back to the topic at hand!  Juan wrote:

I’m considering chastity as a self imposed solution to reduce masturbation, porn, and clear my mind. Has anyone done it for this reason?

I have a friend that will hold the key and keep me accountable. My goal is to make it 365 days.

Suggestions and thoughts are appreciative.


Self imposed chastity is a noble endeavor, and the answer is Yes. I am quite sure others have done it in the past for the very reasons that you are struggling with.  Perhaps others can chime in who may have the same motivations as you, but I’ll just give my two cents worth in the order that you mentioned them.

1) Reducing masturbation.  Of course!  Being locked in a chastity device will 100% do that, as long as you do have a key-holder other than yourself who is willing to be a little bit hard on you sometimes.  If the keys are readily accessible or you can easily convince your key-holder to cough them up, it can be very easy to fall off the wagon and unlock long enough for a quick wank once in a while!

2) Reducing porn consumption.  Well… maybe… Being locked is not going to hinder your fingers from clicking over to the “naughty” side of the internet if that’s where your desires still reside.  What you do once you GET there could be drastically different though!  I think some guys actually still seem to enjoy porn even while locked, as it’s a constant “tease & denial” type of thing.  I would imagine it being very frustrating to not be able to completely “finish off” at the end, but that’s kind of the whole point of chastity, right? 🙂  Personally, I love the tease and denial where I can at least still be a part of and experience Angel finishing off for the both of us. I don’t think watching others do it on the screen would have the same effect for me, but if you don’t have a current partner to share that with then porn could be the next best thing…

3) Clearing the mind.  Yes and No.  In the short term, especially for a newbie on the chastity scene, I’m going to stick with No.  If you think being locked is going to keep you from thinking about sex all the time, think again!  You will be more acutely aware of your own sexuality than ever before!  Every attempted erection, especially the nocturnal ones that you would normally sleep right through (not anymore!) will be a constant reminder that you no longer have control of that part of your anatomy.

But the good new is, it will get better!  As you get used to being locked and masturbating less often (or never), the desire will always be there but the “need” should certainly begin to fade.  You will be able to focus much more intently on other, more important tasks at hand, whether that means school work, a career, taking care of a significant other/family, you name it.  Your old “extracurricular activities” can be replaced with something much more productive–and may even utilize BOTH of your hands at the same time (gasp!)

For some final thoughts, I think that’s fantastic that you already have a friend that you trust enough to share your deepest secrets with, and is willing to hold your keys to help you achieve your goals.  I will just caution you to be realistic about the timeframe though, especially if this is your first time venturing into chastity.  I highly doubt that anybody can put on a new device for the very first time and go 365 days straight with no issues.  I find that to be more a thing of fantasy than anything else.  Your body is going to need a “break-in” period.  And yes it’s your body that will be getting broken in.  A chastity device is not like a pair of shoes that will get more comfortable as they get stretched and worn in a little bit.  No, a chastity device is quite rigid and will not be changing its form, so your body will have to be the thing to adapt to wearing it.

Depending on what type of device you start with, you may go through several iterations of different ring sizes, spacing, cage lengths, and so on before you find something that doesn’t cut off circulation, doesn’t pinch or rub in all the wrong places, and isn’t too easy to just slip right out of.  (While on that topic, almost ANYTHING can be defeated if you really put your mind to it, so if you get into chastity my recommendation is to just commit and don’t even try to go there!)

All I’m saying is take your time to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t.  Start with shorter goals, and as you achieve them you can keep working your way up to an entire year.  The reward will be well worth the effort that you put into it!

  1. Barbara says:

    I happen to agree with you here on all the above. But I also recognize that is true for me, and certainly not very everyone into male chastity. There is a spectrum of reasons why people enjoy chastity, and if, for example, Juan has eroticized the cage or experience itself, then it could be counter productive to be locked, esp with a key holder. Only Juan will know for sure whether being locked will help him get to goal.

    I think Juan should understand that short of piercings no device is inescapable, and his attraction to masturbation and porn could lead him to getting himself out, with the likely attendant masturbation, then guilt, etc.

    For me, being locked does in fact help me focus, reduce my interest in porn, and certainly prohibits masturbation. But only because I mentally accept the state, desire it, and don’t try to escape. So while I fully agree with your answers to Juan, I’d remind Juan that only he truly knows whether enforced voluntary chastity will help him or add more fuel to the embers he’s trying to quench.

  2. I find it strangely erotic that he has a “friend” who is willing to hold his key! All sorts of fantasies begin to happen to me! Damn it’s a good thing I’m caged! lol

Leave a Reply