Defining My Submissiveness 

Posted: January 31, 2017 in BDSM, Chastity, Dominatrix, Fetish, Kinky, Male Chastity, Submissive


My, how things can change/evolve over time!  When Angel and I first got together years ago she was so sweet and innocent, and loved nothing more than just the two of us laying in bed all afternoon, enjoying each other’s bodies, skin-on-skin, feeling me inside of her as often as possible.  That sweet, sensuous woman is definitely still around, but ever since the day that I introduced her to the concept of male chastity, Angel has come around to be MUCH more dominant in the bedroom!  As much as she still LIKES the feel of me inside her, at this point she can just as easily say NO to me getting out of the chastity device, and instead focus on a myriad of other ways to bring her pleasure!

My own outlook seems to be ever changing as well.  It’s like the more I am locked in chastity the more I WANT to be!  Back in the day when I first experimented with chastity on my own, it was always fun and I could go a while without letting myself out, but probably at least every week or two it would have to come off for an orgasm.  Now, with Angel controlling the keys it has become commonplace to go weeks and even months at a time between releases.  After finally getting an orgasm, I do tend to get a little antsy for another fairly quickly.  But then once locked again, especially after a couple weeks or so have gone by, I generally don’t even care anymore when my next one will be.

It’s like my brain has been rewired to want only to please Angel, in any way possible.  99% of the time when we’re snuggling in bed, I’m not even up with my head at the same level as hers on the pillow.  I’m usually curled up much lower than that, either nuzzling into her nice boobs, or even further down her body–sometimes all the way down to her feet!  My absolute favorite place in the world is having my head buried between Angel’s legs, feeling, hearing, and TASTING as she responds to my tongue flitting about her most sensitive parts!

I know that sometimes Angel still feels a little bit bad, like she’s “taking advantage of me” or not letting me out of my cage often enough.  But when that comes up I always assure her that that’s not the case at all.  I’ve tried to describe it to her that (at least sexually speaking) I do just feel that my status is that of being lower than her.  Beneath her.  I’m sure she finds those kind of words to generally be somewhat degrading, and doesn’t want to view me in that context.  I know the more official “technical” term would be that I am just very much a submissive to her, and I have said that too.  I was just trying to find some other way to more fully describe how I feel with her.

wp-1485879720694.jpgWhatever the correct adjectives are, I do know that I feel completely at home and happy when I am being deeply submissive to Angel!  This is me.  “Serving her” is where I belong!  Yes it’s fun to switch it up and turn the tables on her from time to time, but ultimately I find myself to be very subservient to her.

I also consider myself to be very lucky to have found such a wonderful woman who not only “tolerates” my little kinks but has come such a long way towards embracing many of them herself!  Watching her grow into more of a Domme role over the past few years has been very rewarding!  She now (only half jokingly) even refers to herself as my Mistress.  She doesn’t like to be called “Ma’am,” as she feels that should be reserved for older women than her, but she definitely smiles from ear to ear when I call her my Mistress!  Almost every morning now when we wake up I will snuggle into her and say “Good morning, Mistress!” It’s just a nice little way to start our day; another thing that a year ago I probably never would have dreamed would now be “normal” for us!

But then, Angel does sometimes struggle on what to actually call ME in that context.  I know that Mistress/slave is a dynamic that works for some FemDom relationships, but “slave” doesn’t really fit well for us.  Often in the heat of the moment, especially when she’s going to town on my ass, she seems to enjoy referring to me as her “Bitch Boy.”  That works, I’ll take it–plus it is SO HOT when Angel is just in complete control and putting me down to a “lower” status like that while she uses my body for her own pleasure!  I think she would just like some other, more everyday term of endearment so-to-speak, which could put me in my place yet maybe not sound quite so harsh..  If that makes any sense??

Do any of my readers have any suggestions on a term that might work for this type of situation?  Any names that you like to be called, as a submissive? Or for the Dom-types out there, what do you like to call YOUR submissives?  Bonus points for sort of a double entendre which could even be used in a more “vanilla” setting, leaving people to wonder just what exactly Angel means by what she calls me! 🙂

  1. LokeanSlave says: am a slave myself, but my Mistress calls me a variety of names, some can be safe in a vanilla setting.
    To be honest though, the word used does not always mean the same thing. All you need to do if you want a term is find a word that you set aside as special, a vanilla nickname. I call Mistress “Love” in a public setting. So my advice is pick a term you are both comfortable, and let the voice speaking it hold the power, not the word.

  2. wife and I now use “Mistress” and “pet” with one another. Just this morning she told me how I was a “good boy” for her last night in giving her a back rub.

  3. I too agree that tone seems to be the only necessary component to public submission. When I speak in my most complacent manner, I swear I can see his spine straighten as he tries to pick up on whatever it is he’s missed that has annoyed me.

  4. Caged Lion says:

    Mrs. LIon is also struggling with how to address me. I think we will stay “Sweetie” and “Cutie” to each other. She has a very hard time saying, “Good boy”. I only call her Ma’am in the context of when I am asked or told to do something..

    We have a great relationship that we both agree that our kinks should not damage. So, the power exchange is private and subtle. I know who I belong to; she knows who she owns.

  5. locksandkeys says:

    I call him boy here at home and at play parties and once accidentally at one of his family gatherings. In public, he is good about catching my tone of voice, so we don’t really need a name.

    I use to feel the same way about Ma’am as your Angel does until one day a pet called me Mistress and it struck me that a mistress is the other woman. I am not the other woman , I am The woman and suddenly Ma’am felt better.

    • pcguy0681 says:

      Yes you’re right, it can certainly mean different things depending on how you look at it. Mistress can certainly be viewed as the “other” woman, or in a D/s scenario I think it’s pretty widely seen as simply THE Dominant Woman. That’s how it is for us, anyway. While I would not call her that around family or out in public, Angel does seem to enjoy that title in private!

  6. Kwibbr says:

    Wow….describes my relation with my Mistress Wife rather good. But i miss the so necessary punishments….i get those often, She loves that and becomes horny, and the cane (or kicks in the balls) make me even more submissive and obedient and worshipping!

  7. Around the house (and again especially when shes going to town on me 😈), my lady calls me her lil hussy or bitch . I call her my lady both around the house and in public.
    She is a true gem and im honored to be able to serve her, she truly deserves to be cherished.
    I also can relate to chastity rewiring the brain!
    Great post!

  8. jon says:

    She is my Queen and I am her minion

  9. We’ve named my penis. She sometimes refers to me as Angus–the name she gave my penis. We also have a submissive name that she calls me. When asked about it, she just says it’s my nickname.

  10. Look into the “little/big” relationship family of Dom/Sub/BDSM. Its a dynamic where the dominant partner is the “big” and takes on a parental sort of role, with a kinky twist of course. The sub partner is the “little” and acts like a child of sorts. Not to be confused with age play, this is more like an arrangement where the big calls all the shots, administers punishments and consequences when the little breaks the rules etc. The little submits their control and authority to the big and follows their direction and lives in their protection and management.

  11. In private, MrsL refers to me as her “knight” since she is my Princess or Evil Queen depending on her mood. I use Princess out in public a lot. We still haven’t figured out a sexy but covert name for me in public.

    On the submissiveness front, I can so relate to your feelings. It is amazing how chastity has rewired my thinking as well.

  12. I use babe…simple. My caged man is almost like a baby. But I can use this anywhere and no one is the wiser to my real meaning.

    • pcguy0681 says:

      Oh, yea I can see that being a good one. In our case though I think we’ve both used that term pretty liberally with each other over our entire marriage, so it would probably be a little hard to limit it to just this type of context.. I definitely appreciate the input though! 🙂

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