Here’s a recent reader question that I wanted to go ahead and address here.
sinful asks:
Hey there,
I’m exploring chastity and handing over the keys to someone for safe keeping. Just wondering how was your first experience? I’m a horny young male and can’t imagine not releasing on a daily basis.
Sinful:
Thanks for the question! I have a few thoughts that I’ll get to in just a moment, but first I wanted to relay something new I tried for this particular post, where I actually posed the question to followers of my FetLife group to see what kind of feedback anybody there might have for you to go along with my own experiences to share. I did get a couple of good responses for you, so here goes!
Dave47630 says:
I would advise trying on his own before using a key holder. There are many methods to keep keys out of reach for short periods of time.
Plus if he has never ever warn a device it may take weeks to months to get find and become used to a device that fits well. The stories you have read where the chaste puts on a device the first time and keeps it in for days or weeks without ill effect are just stories, fictions. If at all possible, it would be very rare.
supersluttysubby says:
Never hand over keys to someone until you are sure they are worthy of that level of trust.
Start with short periods of lock up. Gradually increase duration over time. Be prepared for melt down days and how to deal with them. Handing over control of ones cock is more of an emotional experience (for both parties) than many think before they enter into it.
This is all EXCELLENT advice, so thank you very much to Dave and sluttysubby for helping out with my first experiment with effectively crowdsourcing an answer!
What Dave said is pretty much spot on to what my own first thoughts were when reading this e-mail. When first starting out I would highly recommend self-locking first. It does help so much with learning how your body reacts to being locked up, and lets you figure out on your own if you might (most likely) need to try another type of device or at least adjust the size of the one you’ve got!
You will know when you need to be out, and yes–chances are you’ll let yourself out a time or two just because you’re feeling horny and want to get off, as opposed to actually NEEDING to unlock due to chafing, etc. But after you do, you’ll quickly realize how good that feels to release after a period of being locked, and you will want to push yourself to go longer the next time. Then even longer. At least that’s how *I* was when starting out, perhaps not everyone feels the same!
You can certainly find ways to hide the keys or at least keep them out of reach for short periods, but in your case by the time you get to that point it sounds like you already have someone willing to hold them for you. So really that’s the best of both worlds! It’s great to have somebody to experiment with, but DO be careful though.. as sluttysubby said, make absolutely sure this person is trustworthy enough to be a key-holder for you! In the beginning, especially if you are still working on proper fittings and such, you should maybe think about coming to an agreement around some sort of safeword or scenario that would result in immediate release no matter what. Just crying to them about being horny does not have to be a reason to be unlocked, but if you can show real distress (either physical or emotional) then the cage should definitely come off immediately until things get sorted out.
Coming back to my own personal experiences, the first time I went so far as to wear a cage out of the house (i.e. to work), I was too chicken to even leave the keys at home. I kept a key in my back pocket, “just in case.” There were times when I’d start feeling bad pinching, etc. that I’d have to excuse myself to the restroom to take care of it. I even remember times when I would just sit there in a stall looking at my caged dick trying its best to get hard at the thought of sneaking around work in a chastity cage! I may have even been tempted to go ahead and unlock myself then, but I wouldn’t dare because then I’d have to stash the cage in my pocket or something when leaving the restroom, and that would be even more awkward & difficult to hide than just wearing it normally! Eventually, I was able to work my way up to leaving the keys back home since I never used them while out anyway..
I self-locked off and on for a few years, before I met my wife and eventually turned my keys over to her to be my key-holder. And the experiences with Angel completely blow the roof off of anything I was able to do alone! So I’m actually rather envious of your situation, starting off very early on with someone willing to explore this with you. The main thing is to not rush it! Take your time, take a break when you need to, and HAVE FUN with it! I suspect in time you will go from “can’t imagine not releasing on a daily basis” to “feel naked without a cage and don’t ever want this feeling of denial to end!”
Good luck!
it’s cool that you support each other so much!
Hey, I really appreciate the feedback and comments!
I have tried the cage and even wore it out for a day or two , like you i kept the keys in the backpocket as a “just in case”.
It fits pretty well and it was barely noticeable during my day to day activities. The only really bad times are “morning wood” when it tries to stretch out to its hardest and as a result tug my balls forward causing huge discomfort and pain ( to the point where it wakes me up and unable to do anything)
Ever since a teenager, masturbation was a daily(sometimes twice daily) affair, which you could say I am a little bored of vanilla? and interested in some other fun , hence the idea of chastity came to mind. However, my question to @thrillofthechaste and others with chaste experience is more of how do you cope with longer periods of denial? such as no orgasm for a month or longer. I tried self-denial for like 5 days and my balls are aching to the point where pain radiates to my lower abdomen region.
Of course the keyholder in question is respectful of my wishes and we have a establish a degree of trust or I would never have dared to even think of handing a key over to a complete stranger.