Back in February I was contacted by Ms. Scarlett, who runs an Adult Toy Store & Blog out of the U.K., called “Toys 4 Naughty Boys.” She was getting ready to start writing an article for her blog aimed at helping people who are new to chastity and just trying to find some good beginner tips. As such, she was reaching out to “experts” who have been involved in the lifestyle for quite a while, to give some first-hand advice. I’d use the term loosely, but apparently I fit the bill as expert in this case! Lol
The article has published now, and can be read in its entirety here:
And in case that link doesn’t ever work for any reason, MY contribution to it is below. There is probably much more that can be said along these lines, but this is a pretty good start as far as I’m concerned. There is also feedback from a few of my other favorite bloggers at the above link, so it’s well worth checking out!
If you’re just trying to get started with chastity:
Having a properly fitting device can completely make or break a chastity experience, so it is very important to do your homework! Devices are certainly not one-size fits all and every person’s body is different, so what works great for one guy could be a complete disaster for the next. Start with knowing your measurements, and find a device that will fit as close as possible when completely soft. In my experience, the shorter and smaller the better, just not to the point of cutting off any circulation or anything. If you feel that is happening, remove it immediately and re-evaluate your sizing! If being locked in a chastity device is something that really appeals to you, don’t get discouraged if the first device or two that you try ends in failure. Just try figure out exactly what wasn’t right about it, and use that knowledge to help find a different device that fits better. If you get tired of spending money for off-the-shelf devices that don’t quite get the job done, there are also a number of custom chastity manufacturers who could make a truly form-fitting design that you could very easily forget you’re even wearing over time!
I would NOT listen to any story that says anything about some guy being locked in a device for the first time with no access to the keys and was “forced” to stay chaste for months at a time right off the bat. Those tend to be tales of fantasy, and the reality is that it doesn’t work that way! Even if you already have a key-holder lined up or hope to ask a significant other to fill that role down the road, it is wise to practice some self-chastity for a while first. Maybe start with a couple hours at a time, then all day. See how it goes to sleep in it for a couple nights, and work your way up from there. Keep the key in your back pocket the first few times you venture out of the house while locked, just in case an issue arises where you need to be let out in a hurry. Speaking of walking around in public, when you first begin doing this you will be acutely aware of any extra little “bulge” in your pants, or any little clink of a padlock against your device. And in your mind you will just be SURE that every single person within a twenty foot radius must also see that bulge or hear that clink, and know exactly what you have going on inside your pants. The simple truth is that unless you outright tell someone, NOBODY knows and NOBODY cares!
There is no one “right way” to practice chastity. Some will want to work up to a 24×7 scenario and stay locked for weeks and even months at a time, rarely being “allowed” to have an orgasm. For others, a couple hours of denial is more than sufficient as foreplay leading up to some mind-blowing sex. It’s important to know your own motivation and goals for being locked, as the more long-term you want to make it the more critical it becomes to have a well-fitting device! Just take your time, it is not a race! Figure out what works and what doesn’t (keeping a small journal of your successes and failures could help a lot with this). Most importantly–have fun with it! Especially if you have a chance to share the experience with a special someone in your life, the rewards that can come from chastity and orgasm denial can far outweigh the initial struggles and inconveniences of finding an adequate device!