Thrill of the Chaste

I was having an e-mail conversation the other day with HappilyLockedMan and an interesting question came up that I didn’t really have an immediate, intelligent answer to.

By the way if you have not yet read the fictional short story of “Aaron and Melissa,” by HappilyLockedMan, I strongly encourage you to do so here!

Anyway, to put it into context we were discussing how Angel is generally a very private person in regard to her bedroom proclivities and PROBABLY doesn’t exactly know the extent to which I do tend to write about us here in my blog. It’s not that I want to hide it from her by any means, as I HAVE told her several times before that I was blogging about my chastity experiences and even offered a link if she wanted to have a look. She has never taken me up on it, and I seriously doubt she’s ever gone to the trouble to try and find it on her own.

HappilyLockedMan inquired: 

… Do you sometimes feel that you’re on thin ice in that if your wife read it you think she would be upset about your writing in such detail about your lives together?
Why do you write the blog? Do you have an exhibitionist streak like I spoke of having? Does the blog satisfy that streak?

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As for being on thin ice… yes, perhaps.. Honestly I have no idea exactly what Angel would think of it! But a big part of me would still love to have her read it someday to find out. If she was reading (and I knew of it) I think I would just try to convince her to start at the very beginning and go post by post. At least that way she could see the entire story unfold from the beginning and how her part in it just blends right in, keeping things real and on point. I truly believe that in the end she would come around and be OK with it. She knows the whole story anyway, obviously–she has lived it with me! But being down on paper really helps to put a lot more perspective behind the lifestyle of which she really is a “key” component! (Ok, bad pun.. sorry! Lol)

So why DO I blog?? That’s actually a fairly loaded question; much moreso than I thought when first reading his e-mail. Thus my decision to do a bit of blogging ABOUT blogging! 🙂

WHY do I blog… Let’s break it off into two main categories:

1) For Myself

‘Thrill of the Chaste‘ started off (and really still is, mostly) as a personal, online “diary” of my time in chastity. I like to be able to keep track of what different devices I’m using, various problems I have run into and overcome, and how long I’m able to go between releases. As months and now even years go by, it can get very difficult to remember a lot of those details if I don’t write them down shortly after the event occurs!

But beyond the simple mechanics of physically wearing a device, I have also greatly enjoyed writing down a lot of my internal thoughts and feelings that go along with it. After all, chastity and orgasm denial really can be a serious “mindfuck” as some would say! I mean, (yes I’m stereotyping here, but…) based on most societal standards a man should be big and strong, always completely confident in himself and his relationship(s), and being able to “spread his seed” is pretty much the end all be all of his existence… right?? [I hope you caught the dripping sarcasm in that last statement because I obviously don’t believe that at all! Lol]

I do realize that being somebody who willingly submits to NOT being able to orgasm-at-will definitely puts me into a fairly small minority of men. I think that submissive men in general are probably one of the more misunderstood and even looked down upon among any demographic, regardless of gender and kink identity. But that is a much deeper conversation than I wish to have on this particlar post!

The point is, being able to write down my feelings on subjects like this really helps me to sort through and organize my thoughts around them, and basically come to terms with my own submissive tendancies.

2) For Others/Community Involvement

Obviously I’m writing a blog that’s just out there on the public internet, for anybody who’s searching for this type of thing to be able to find & read. Yes, I could have made it more “private,” but I didn’t really think about that back in the day when starting my diary. I mean, who am I to think that my life is so interesting that anybody would actually WANT to read about it?? I’m nobody, really. Just an everyday Joe trying to find my way through a very niche kink. A kink that doesn’t necessarily stop the moment you walk out of the bedroom door and away from your partner. Chastity is different from most other kinks in that it has the potential to be 24×7, for as long as you and your significant other (if applicable) wish for it to continue!

Yet apparently, people ARE interested in my life! I hadn’t been writing very long before a handful of folks not only found my blog, but began following it and even leaving little comments of encouragement from time to time. It was very heart-warming to know that I was definitely not the only person out there on this journey, bending the rules of what it means to “be a man!”

So I kept writing. I’d like to think I (hopefully) would have continued anyway for my personal benefit only, but it definitely seemed to help having a small audience to keep me on point. The more I wrote the more people seemed to stop by to check it out, and my “followers” list has grown consistently ever since ( > 1000 at the time of this writing, from literally all over the globe. Incredible!)

Then questions began coming in as well! Not only were people reading about my life, but they saw me as potentially a good source of advice for all kinds of things from finding the right fit for a chastity device to convincing a reluctant spouse to participate in a kinky lifestyle.. Here’s a secret: I’m more than happy to talk about what I’ve done and what has/hasn’t worked for me in regard to many of these types of issues, but my default answer to almost everything is IT DEPENDS! Every relationship is different and what works great for one couple might be a complete trainwreck for somebody else.. But still, I do have plenty of opinions and don’t mind sharing them as long as they are taken as a grain of salt along with everybody else’s opinions floating around! 🙂

I realized though, that I do have a pretty good thing going here. A sense of community has gradually formed within ‘Thrill of the Chaste‘ where it feels as though people can come and ask questions and/or share their own stories and experiences for the benefit of anybody else who may be struggling with a similar question or situation. I personally may not always have the “right” answer or even necessarily a GOOD answer; but the fact that there are so many others participating can lead to some fantastic discussions and sharing of other (sometimes differing) opinions. That’s what community is all about, right? A group of at least somewhat like-minded individuals pooling their resources (knowledge in this case) to support and help one another. Ok, MAYBE I’m looking at it too deeply here and trying to make something out of nothing, but sometimes I do kind of feel like that’s what we have going here within my blog!

It’s not like I have any kind of monopoly on the market, either. ‘Thrill of the Chaste‘ is just one small wheel in the much larger cog of the global Chastity community at large. There are many great sources of information out there, as well as some not so good. I’m sure it can be a little overwhelming for somebody just starting out, to hit some of the more extreme lifestyle sites referring to things like Cuckolding, all-encompassing Female Superiority, domestic discipline, etc. While some most likely do live with beliefs like these, it is definitely not the “norm,” even within the chastity lifestyle. I try to stay away from that kind of thing on my blog (unless clearly defined as fantasy) and to only give a true account of my own real-life experiences. I suspect that may be at least part of what draws some folks in to my little corner of the internet!  Even saying that though, I can’t exactly pretend that these other “more extreme” themes don’t exist in the real world at all, just because they aren’t MY cup of tea…  So anybody with true experiences like that are also more than welcome to come and share for the benefit/enjoyment of all! 🙂

To jump all the way back to the original question: is it an exhibitionist streak? I don’t know, I’d never really thought of it as such. I don’t think so… I have no desire to run out into the general public and show off my chastity device, or even to bring it up in casual conversation with some unsuspecting person from my “vanilla” life. I have plenty of very close family & friends who know absolutely nothing about this side of me, and would probably be very surprised (if not horrified in some cases!) to find out. But it does feel great to be able to share my experiences with people who willingly WANT to read about it and to know more about chastity! To that end I would have to call it more educational than exhibitionism, if that makes any sense at all…

Whatever term you would want to give it, yes, blogging DOES satisfy this “streak” for me. It makes me happy! And I sincerely hope that others feel the same way as well.

THAT, dear reader, is why I blog!