Thrill of the Chaste

I had a question from a reader that I felt would be better to address with a new post.

becomingHIS asked:

I’m sorry if I’m getting too much in to your business but how can a week go by & her not see it yet? I’m just really sad to hear that. Is she not in to it as much as you are? I mean, you wrote the limerick to go along with giving her the new key. Do you never pass each other in the bathroom while you’re getting ready for work? I saw my ex-husband’s penis multiple times a day, whether I wanted to or not. I just don’t understand.

This is a fair question!  Under most “normal” circumstances for us I would say you’re absolutely right; it would be very difficult for Angel to not see me naked at least occasionally over a week’s time! To your first point about her not being as “into it” as me, yes I’m sure that is a true statement.  To elaborate on that though, I’ve been “into” chastity for most of my adult life. She has known about and even participated in it with me for several years now (fairly soon after we were married), but it’s been a very on-again off-again type of activity for us. During the “on” times, she has come VERY far in getting really into it! But that certainly doesn’t mean she spends time every day thinking about it or being actively engaged in it. Life still happens, and sometimes sex just has to get pushed to the back-burner for a little while.  I have no complaints whatsoever about how “into” it she is and consider myself very lucky to have a wife who engages in it with me at all!

As for her seeing me in the bathroom: that does happen some, but not near as much these days as it did before we had kids. Now, generally one of us is always out keeping an eye on them, while the other is in the bathroom alone. Again under “normal” circumstances, we do like to try to shower together as often as possible, as long as both kids are for sure down for the night. But Angel has been so busy every evening lately that I’ll end up showering and going on to bed long before she does.

To be perfectly honest, I guess I’ve also been kind of AVOIDING any meetings in the bathroom over the past week! I thought she’d see the limerick and be somewhat impressed that I’d actually written out a little poem for once, and it would fairly quickly lead to a conversation about what exactly I meant by “something shiny and new…” But once I was past the point of no return, this is still hanging out there and I realized the very poor timing of it on my part, I want to go slow and wait until SHE’S good and ready to proceed.  In a way, it almost feels like a situation that might happen towards the beginning of a relationship, when one person has the first “I Love You” hanging out there, and they don’t know if the other person even heard it, or if they feel the same way too, or what!  Lol  And I don’t know–maybe I’m trying to control the situation too much–but I guess in my head I would prefer to have a nice quiet “bedroom conversation” where I can show her the Queen’s Keep and get a good feel for her reaction to it. If it turned into a “bathroom conversation,” where she happened to see me going pee while she’s rushing to get ready for work, I just don’t think that would be nearly as effective. My second choice would be a “shower conversation,” but that may not be likely for at least a few more days.

I think the biggest problem here was simply the timing. Without getting into what Angel does for a living, there are a couple times a year that ALWAYS get very hectic for her.  There are deadlines to meet, and far more work to get done than what is possible during normal working hours. As a result she brings a lot of work home with her and spends a good part of every evening working on it, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning.  Even over last weekend, we had birthday parties and other things like that going on for parts of both days, but outside of that stuff she still estimated that she put in at least 15 extra hours working.  That doesn’t exactly leave any “play time!” It wasn’t quite as bad before we had kids, but now of course she does try to spend as much time as possible with them, too. So generally she can’t even get started on her work until at least after our three year old has gone to bed. At that point it’s on me to keep taking care of the baby until he finally goes down for the night as well.

The point is, I KNOW this is always a very busy, high-stress time of the year for Angel. But I guess I was so wrapped up in getting the Queen’s Keep, testing it out, sending it back for adjustments, and testing it again, that I completely missed it. My first idea, to introduce it over our Thanksgiving vacation, would have been good if it had worked out that way.  She’d have seen it pretty quickly and we could have already TALKED about it! But by the time I got the device back from Mature Metal and did some more testing with it, we were right into her busy time when I decided to drop the keys on her. If I had thought it through better, I’d have waited a couple more weeks.  The GOOD news is that after this week she’ll be out of that busy time, and has a full two weeks completely off of work for the holidays!  That will give everyone a chance to relax, and if Angel doesn’t bring it up on her own then I’m fairly sure I’ll be able to find some opportunity to show her the Queen’s Keep and talk about it.

I feel like I’m rambling a little bit, so I hope that answered your question and elaborated a little bit on why/how it can take so long for my wife to actually notice I’m walking around with a steel cage around my junk!  The other thing I can say is, even when I was wearing the CB-6000s, there were times when we might go at least a week or so without any “action,” and she may or may not have actually SEEN me wearing it during those times, but she still knew it was there and what it looked like.  I do have a feeling that since she doesn’t actually know I’ve bought a new device yet, she may just assuming I’m locked in the same clear plastic cage that she’s used to, so has no real need to ask me about it or see it right now.  That’s all speculation on my part, of course.  I know that once Angel gets work off of her mind for a while, we’ll have plenty of time to talk it through and everything will become much more clear for the both of us!

On the bright side, I’m getting a good amount of “break-in time” before Angel gets back to embracing the idea of keeping me locked up! 🙂