Thrill of the Chaste

Today, I am honored to have a beautiful wife who very willingly and happily holds the keys to my chastity device, and decides if/when it comes off.  But it has not always been this way.  When I first started experimenting with these devices, I was on my own.  I really enjoyed the feeling of being locked up and not able to touch myself, but of course since the keys were right there I always had the option of letting myself out whenever I felt like it.  Kind of defeats the purpose of chastity, right?

I remember I did a lot of slow experimentation, maybe a couple hours or so at a time, until I was pretty sure I had the right fit on the CB-xxxx devices.  There were a ton of different combinations of ring size, spacer length, etc. to choose from.  I started off way too large, and when I started falling out of the thing I would go try again with the next size down.  It seemed like as small and tight as I could get it without being painful was the way to go.  Once I had the sizing down, it was time to really try to see what chastity and orgasm denial was all about!

I started wearing it out of the house for little bits at a time until I was fairly sure that my secret was safe, and people really weren’t staring at me and judging me for it! Especially in the beginning it was very easy to be self-conscious and think that everyone must know.. But in reality I’m quite sure now that nobody has ever had a clue, and even if they did most people probably couldn’t care less!

So I started keeping myself in chastity for longer and longer periods to kind of test my limits.  I’d always have the keys in my pocket, just in case! Eventually I became daring enough to even wear it to work! Though I admit it was quite a distraction to always have that feeling of trying (unsuccessfully) to get hard, it certainly did add an extra element to the thrill of it–knowing that even my friends and co-workers had no idea of what was in my pants!

I’d have to say that sleeping in chastity was by far the worst.  I would venture to guess that most men probably have no idea how often they have erections in the middle of the night. I know I didn’t, until I COULDN’T anymore!  I would generally be woken up several times through the night with somewhat painful “attempted hard-ons” going on! This was always the time of day that I found myself most likely to cheat. I’d end up grabbing the keys to unlock myself and take care of my “needs!” It always felt pretty amazing to get that release, and I would sleep very well for the rest of the night, but would always tend to kick myself the next morning wishing I had held out a little longer.
As things progressed and I became more comfortable with the device, it got a lot easier to sleep through the night locked up.  I also started doing things like leaving the keys at home while I was out and about, or even while at work.

Inevitably, I started wondering what it would be like to truly have no on-demand access to the keys, but I had no idea how to actually make that a reality.  There was no way I was going to give them to someone else to hold, and have to explain what it was for!  I was actually dating a girl at the time (we’ll call her “Jane”).  Jane was away at college, about a 2 hour drive from my house.  Most weekends I would either go see her or she’d be coming back to town.  Depending on what we both had going on, sometimes it might end up being 2-3 weeks without seeing each other.  Jane would have been the closest person that I might have confided in at that time, but I never could get up the guts to even spill it to HER! Instead, I would play around with chastity all through the week, but when the weekends came around I’d be taking it off and acting like everything was perfectly “normal.”

Now, Jane did have at least a little bit of a kinky streak in her, and in a lot of ways kind of a “female superiority” attitude as well (though I had to tread lightly if I ever tried to actually say that to her! Lol)  I always thought it was very possible that she might actually LIKE the idea of male chastity, and might be perfectly willing to play the game with me.  I would imagine being locked in, completely unable to touch myself, and the keys would be a good 2 hours away!  I would be completely stuck for at least a week at a time, if not longer! For some reason though, I was always afraid to ever bring it up to her.  I really just didn’t know how to approach that subject.. I guess there was always the nagging fear that she WOULDN’T be into it, and would think I was really weird or something for even wanting to do that.

The closest I came, and the best idea I had at the time to bring Jane on board, was to mail the keys to her and let her figure out on her own what they went to.  I had even started to devise a plan… I would send only one key first, as a precaution just in case the good old USPS lost the package or something! She would know it was from me, but there wouldn’t be any other identifying information about what it was for.  I knew when I heard from her that she got it, I’d have to give some explanation, so planned on just telling her to hang on to it for a “surprise” the next time I saw her. Then knowing the first key was safe I would put the second one in the mail the same way.  The idea would have been that the next time we saw each other I’d try to hold out on telling her what the keys were for as long as possible, until she would “find” the chastity device on me, put two and two together, and at that point we’d have to have a real conversation about it!  Seemed perfect, except that I never had the guts to actually follow through with it. It may have been a fear of rejection, or fear of something happening where I truly NEEDED to get out but couldn’t (like a medical emergency?) or any number of other things.  Regardless, Jane and I eventually broke up anyway, so it was probably best she didn’t have that kind of control over me at that time.  We will never know what (if anything) may have been different if I had the courage to share my little fantasy with her!

The point of all of this is that for the first several years, I had to engage only in self-imposed, solo chastity. That’s not all bad, as it certainly gave me ample opportunity to try different things out. I was able to figure out what worked for me and what didn’t, what I really liked and disliked. Solo chastity though, is only as strong as the wearer’s will to impose it on him/herself. I did feel I did pretty well with it, and kept myself locked up to a couple weeks at a time sometimes. But eventually I would always give in, dig out the keys, and give myself the release I’d been craving. Then I would go back to dreaming–no, fantasizing–about some day, when hopefully I could have a real key-holder to help enforce my chastity!